Well, the strike is over, if it ever really began. (Not that I've gotten paid; I haven't.) It is important to realize that this blog is more than just my online vehicle for quilting humor. It is also my journal, my therapy, and the place where all my angsty blatherings go when my husband isn't around to listen and talk me down from whatever mental precipice I have momentarily climbed. ("Yes, honey, I'm sure that George Clooney deserved the Golden Globe more than Jeff Bridges and I absolutely agree that his latest girlfriend looks like a money-grubbing, man-eating 'hoor'—but is that really any reason to eat that entire box of Entenmann's chocolate doughnut holes?")
Sometimes, coming here and writing about how INDIGNANT I am, and how I will NOT TAKE THIS KIND OF ABUSE, over something that doesn't necessarily warrant quite that many capital letters, is just another form of eating an entire box of doughnut holes.
In this economy, I am grateful to have a job. I am grateful that the job I have allows me to work from home, part-time. I am grateful that, even if we spend a week eating ramen noodles that we HAVE ramen noodles to eat. And I am extremely grateful that, if this job falls through or I decide to leave it, that it only means belt-tightening and more careful accounting, not homelessness.
Having said that, my husband and I spent as much time as we could over the weekend discussing the possibility of me leaving my job, whether or not the pay situation resolves. Once when I left a bad job, David reminded me of all the times he had walked away from employment, feeling that he had other paths to take and I always supported him. And every time he did it, he ended up someplace better, and now he is in a career he loves.
The only real reason I have for leaving this job is that I feel I am on the verge of something. I feel like the career I've always wanted is out there for me, just within my reach, but I can't pursue it full-on unless I can get rid of the things that are holding me back. Like gainful employment.
It feels so self-indulgent to talk about this, knowing how many people are hurting, out of work, out of money. But I spent so many years not doing the kind of work I'm good at, because I was too scared to try. I thought that I could never break in to writing or editing, and every year that went by that I still didn't pursue it seemed to add to that belief. Then, I walked away from a job that I hated and found one that I loved within a week, at a magazine, editing and writing.
I don't hate this job, but I have the same feeling now that I did then: that now is the time to leap.
I'll try to make this the end of my navel gazing. For now.
9 comments:
I say GO FOR IT! As they say - nothing ventured, nothing gained, carpe diem, and all that other stuff. I say - live life without regret. If you don't take the leap, you just might regret it.
You have an obvious talent...and one I think needs to be shared with others.
Just my 2 pennies.
I had a teacher who always told us to follow our bliss. If you believe it I know you can do it. It worked before and I'm sure you can make it work again. You have the talent and the ability.
I also say go for it. I quit my cubicle job 2 years ago. Now I work three part-time jobs, two from home and one just past my back yard. Granted, I make half what I did in the cube (because I work half as many hours), but I'm twice as happy, and have more time to quilt and do other things.
Don't feel guilty for giving up a job when others don't have one...think of it as making one available to someone else.
Life is short, and is there ever a good time for.....?
An old boss once told me, "Don't run away from something, run TOWARD something." I stayed at that job until a better opportunity arose!
PS: LOVE your item in Quilter's Home! Really LOVE the item about you on the "contributors" page!
I am with everyone else...listen to your heart and soul...allow it to lead you. Don't wait around and have ANY regrets about anything later...Life is wayyyyyy to short! Love your blog, your articles, etc. Keep on...Keeping on...and lol..don't take no crap from anyone!! Be Blessed!!
You go girl!!!! I'm a strong advocate of "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!!" and my poor husband has had to be there for all my crazy ideas....but they've worked out for the most part...well, not the flowershop we owned but...that's because of the town we live in and the economy. I've had great paying jobs with great benefits (post office) but when I got to the point of hating going to work in the morning I knew it was time to move on! I have a dayhome now....and although I go crazy somedays and I don't have the freedom to come and go, I am happy....for now! BUT getting paid on time is super important for me and has been an issue at times but I don't let it go for long and my parents know that. Nothing is more frustrating, and not just because I could use the money, but more importantly feeling as though I'm not important enough to get paid on time for what I do! My parents get paid on time as I'm sure your magazine executives do so why shouldn't we??? Anyway, I'm rambling and no one will read this looonnnnnng post!! But I say "go for it"....do what you love and make sure you are happy!!!
If leaving your job sounds like "truth" to you, then do it. One motto I try to keep close is to just say "yes". I find that when you say "yes" to an opportunity or idea, that it will lead to something that will surprise you and exceeds expectations. Follow your heart.
I thought of you today while shopping for a quilting magazine. There are no "modern" quilting magazines. Everything is a little too, well, conformist. So, you have the background, how about starting your own magazine? there's a need for bitchy stitching...
Love your pic in Quilters Home. I guess they didn't like the finger one? Ha ha ha.
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