Know how I can tell when my period is coming?
When I can't think of anything even remotely chuckleworthy to say.
I just started a post about how I want to kick the kids out of their bedroom and take it over as my sewing room/media empire headquarters.
When I went back to read it, I realized I had merely described, in detail, the precise layout of my entire house WITH MEASUREMENTS and lists of every piece of furniture in each room.
I'm going to go scrape gunk out of the fish tanks now and hope that the Red Menace has its way with me soon so I can get back to the quilty witticisms.
I still haven't been paid.