I have been forcing my husband to watch the children on his own for a few hours each day since Thursday in order to get some work done and also so I can sew, dammit. I reminded him that this little quilt blog venture here has actually generated a small amount of bi-monthly income, and thus it would be unfortunate if I never actually got around to doing any quilting, since that's what I'm supposed to be writing about. He couldn't argue with that, though he looked like he was working up to it, and so I spent my afternoon yesterday hunched over my sewing table, cutting up a Moda layer cake into 2.5-inch squares while the girls climbed on him and made him play keep-away with a pink feather boa.
Back in late November (I think. I'm too lazy to actually go back and look), Erin of Confounded By Quilting (and how great a name for a blog is that?) was giving away a layer cake to the person who could best teach her how to tie a quilter's knot. And, as you know, I love any reason to write up a tutorial. Here's what I wrote:
How to Tie A Quilter’s Knot
1. Thread needle.
2. Thread needle again after pulling thread out while looking around for drink.
3. Trim thread several times, since the damn thing won’t go through the hole anymore, and you’ve licked it so much it’s starting to glisten.
4. Ask husband, boyfriend, or pizza delivery person to thread needle for you.
5. Holding needle between thumb and forefinger, hold one end of thread (left end if needle is in your left hand)between the fingers and palm of that hand.
6. Get tired and decide to watch TV instead.
7. Pick needle back up and try holding it again. Figure you just need to keep that thread out of the way and tape it to your arm instead.
8. Take other end of thread and make a loop that is longer than the needle, holding the end of the loop in between the same fingers that are holding the needle.
9. Drop everything and curse the needle and thread to hell for all eternity.
10. Once you have it all back in place, take up some of the thread from your loop and wrap it around your needle three times.
11. Holding the thread taut with your right hand, inch your left fingers (the ones holding the needle) up over the loops you have wound around the needle, until you can begin to pull the needle up through your fingers and through the loops you just made.
12. Keep pulling thread, while keeping your fingers together, until you feel the knot tighten into a little ball.
13. If instead you feel a rats nest that is roughly the size of your fist, complete steps 1-12 again after drinking several strong cocktails.
And, whaddya know, she picked me as the winner! So, I have for the past few weeks been the proud owner of a Moda Hello, Betty! layer cake, a lovely bundle of fabrics in teal, red and brown which has been sitting on my sewing table, mocking me for my lack of gumption.
So, Friday morning, I'm on the computer, and I decide to check in with amandajean and see if she's posted anything new, and what do I read?
AMANDAJEAN IS QUITTING HER BLOG.
I know, me too.
I could not believe it. This woman is like the queen of quilt bloggers, the woman who inspired a nation to sew and post. Ask just about anyone who quilts and blogs about it what inspired her to start blogging,and Crazy Mom Quilts will definitely be in the list. She's on every blogroll I've ever seen. AND SHE"S QUITTING.
Apparently, the blog was a huge amount of work for her, and boy, oh, boy do I wish that I could say that. But considering that I tend to post once a week these days, that ain't gonna be my excuse anytime too soon. But, to bring this all back around to where I started, I decided that, in honor of the woman who taught me the joys of white sashing, I would finally do a nine-patch quilt. With the layer cake.
And, of course, I hate them. I'm going to rip them apart and try something more coordinated than just nine random pieces slapped together. Maybe blocks in each color group, combined with white/ecru for contrast?
Or, maybe it will end up in a ziplock along with my pinwheels. That would suck. Clearly, I will not be taking up amandajean's mantle any time too soon. But that's okay. I doubt she's headed for a career based on dropping f-bombs and joking about drunken quilting, so I'd say we're both safe.