Sunday, January 3, 2010

Oh, right. This is a quilting blog.

I have been forcing my husband to watch the children on his own for a few hours each day since Thursday in order to get some work done and also so I can sew, dammit. I reminded him that this little quilt blog venture here has actually generated a small amount of bi-monthly income, and thus it would be unfortunate if I never actually got around to doing any quilting, since that's what I'm supposed to be writing about. He couldn't argue with that, though he looked like he was working up to it, and so I spent my afternoon yesterday hunched over my sewing table, cutting up a Moda layer cake into 2.5-inch squares while the girls climbed on him and made him play keep-away with a pink feather boa.

Back in late November (I think. I'm too lazy to actually go back and look), Erin of Confounded By Quilting (and how great a name for a blog is that?) was giving away a layer cake to the person who could best teach her how to tie a quilter's knot. And, as you know, I love any reason to write up a tutorial. Here's what I wrote:

How to Tie A Quilter’s Knot

1. Thread needle.

2. Thread needle again after pulling thread out while looking around for drink.

3. Trim thread several times, since the damn thing won’t go through the hole anymore, and you’ve licked it so much it’s starting to glisten.

4. Ask husband, boyfriend, or pizza delivery person to thread needle for you.

5. Holding needle between thumb and forefinger, hold one end of thread (left end if needle is in your left hand)between the fingers and palm of that hand.

6. Get tired and decide to watch TV instead.

7. Pick needle back up and try holding it again. Figure you just need to keep that thread out of the way and tape it to your arm instead.

8. Take other end of thread and make a loop that is longer than the needle, holding the end of the loop in between the same fingers that are holding the needle.

9. Drop everything and curse the needle and thread to hell for all eternity.

10. Once you have it all back in place, take up some of the thread from your loop and wrap it around your needle three times.

11. Holding the thread taut with your right hand, inch your left fingers (the ones holding the needle) up over the loops you have wound around the needle, until you can begin to pull the needle up through your fingers and through the loops you just made.

12. Keep pulling thread, while keeping your fingers together, until you feel the knot tighten into a little ball.

13. If instead you feel a rats nest that is roughly the size of your fist, complete steps 1-12 again after drinking several strong cocktails.

Good luck!

And, whaddya know, she picked me as the winner! So, I have for the past few weeks been the proud owner of a Moda Hello, Betty! layer cake, a lovely bundle of fabrics in teal, red and brown which has been sitting on my sewing table, mocking me for my lack of gumption.

So, Friday morning, I'm on the computer, and I decide to check in with amandajean and see if she's posted anything new, and what do I read?


I know, me too.

I could not believe it. This woman is like the queen of quilt bloggers, the woman who inspired a nation to sew and post. Ask just about anyone who quilts and blogs about it what inspired her to start blogging,and Crazy Mom Quilts will definitely be in the list. She's on every blogroll I've ever seen. AND SHE"S QUITTING.

Apparently, the blog was a huge amount of work for her, and boy, oh, boy do I wish that I could say that. But considering that I tend to post once a week these days, that ain't gonna be my excuse anytime too soon. But, to bring this all back around to where I started, I decided that, in honor of the woman who taught me the joys of white sashing, I would finally do a nine-patch quilt. With the layer cake.

And, of course, I hate them. I'm going to rip them apart and try something more coordinated than just nine random pieces slapped together. Maybe blocks in each color group, combined with white/ecru for contrast?

Or, maybe it will end up in a ziplock along with my pinwheels. That would suck. Clearly, I will not be taking up amandajean's mantle any time too soon. But that's okay. I doubt she's headed for a career based on dropping f-bombs and joking about drunken quilting, so I'd say we're both safe.


Erin said...

What is it about the 9-patch blocks that lends itself to us hating them? Mine have been in a drawer since I made them - can't bring myself to even look at 'em.

I hope you find something nifty to do with the cake, but if not, feel absolutely no guilt on my behalf! I found that colorway very odd and impossible to do anything with - thus, what I was *really* doing was foisting my conundrum onto you, the unwitting winner! Mwah-haw,haw,haw.

Debby, Chester, NY said...

I was so surprised to her Amanda Jean was quiting her blog. She will be missed. You'll have to pick up the slack & post more often now :)

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

Ok...I confess...I'm a lurker. But, in honor of Amanda Jean, I'm coming out of the woodwork (can a person do that?) and maybe, just maybe, since you've already sewn those nine patches, you might like this idea:

Really easy .. and no un-sewing or de-sewing? Love your blog, btw!

pat sloan said...

so how in the world did I miss your blog all this time? No MATTER hon... found you... joined your FB page and my 3,000 quilters on FB may now be reading you there!

What do you write for QH?? I missed your first article... bet it's funny!

Pat Sloan

Quilting in My Pyjamas said...

I too am sad about the demise of Amada Jean's Blog, but since I'm an f bomb dropping, cocktail drinking, cake throwing kind of gal myself, I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy watching your adventures in 2010.

Looking forward to your next post and seeing what you do with that layer cake!

Megan said...


Please excuse me while I run around my kitchen screaming like an idiot.

So, yeah. Hey! Hi, Pat. How's it goin'?

But seriously, my first article for QH was called Zen and the Art of Crappy Quilting, and it appeared in the Sept/Oct issue. The second was a mock tutorial for making a tote bag, in the Nov/Dec issue, and there's one coming up in Jan. and I'm working on another right now!

Perhaps someday they'll archive back issues online, or I'll get a scanner so I can send the PDF to people who haven;t caught them in print.

jrebekah said...

I've had a similar experience with a Hello Betty charm pack...Made a bunch of windmills with them and then hated them...eventually I paired them with black and put together a little table runner. I ended up not using any of the solids...

p2w said...

I too was shocked and sad to see that Amanda Jean was quitting her blog. That said though, I will also say that I absolutely love your blog, Megan, and always love reading your tutorials! They are so accurate!! Hope we don't lose you too.

Anonymous said...

I agree....disappearing 9 patch blocks with sashing separating the 4 units (stole this idea from Rachel at --- she's also got a tutorial on
Original idea, no....but at least I'm honest.

Just sayin' that you're on your way to what could be a fabulous quilt, why take two steps backwards & rip them apart?

But, if you are truly unhappy with what you've got going...send them my way! LOL.

carolph said...

I second the disappearing nine patch idea. Depending on how you rearrange the new pieces the fabrics you have used should become more interesting. Good luck with it.