Someday, I will use the phrase "egregious maledictions" in a rap about quilting.

Holy effing cow, y'all. Here I go and get all lazy on you, publishing a post that is actually a rejected Quilter's Home piece I wrote almost a year ago, and and my blog stats go through the roof! People were emailing the link, posting it on their own blogs, mentioning it in sewing forums. Which is very hard for me to understand, since there were no penis-shaped objects or egregious maledictions contained in it. But, you know, whatever winds your bobbin, babes.

Seriously, though - a thousand hits in two days? Unreal, especially for a little blogger like me. I hope at least some of those new visitors manage to stick around, but, of course, once they see my crappy sewing and gouge out their own eyes with rusty garden tools, they may reconsider.

In other news...

DO NOT READ FURTHER IF I AM MAKING YOUR BABY A QUILT. SORRY, BUT THIS IS MY QUILTING BLOG AFTER ALL AND I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO REFRAIN FROM SHOWING PICTURES OF THE FIRST QUILT TOP I HAVE COMPLETED IN, I DON'T KNOW, SEVERAL MONTHS.

...I have just completed a quilt top, the first in, I don't know, several months.  If you recall, I hacked up a Moda Hunky Dory layer cake, added some white Kona, and hoped for the best.

When I started putting the blocks together, I did what I do best, and that is adhere to the party line. In other words, I kept like with like, and did not attempt to do any crazy mixing and matching, because that's  probably still punishable by death back where I come from. But even as I realized that this was a stupid move, I kept going, because I just couldn't deal with yet another stack of blocks going to the set of plastic bins that I now think of as the Quilt Graveyard.

So, I plowed through and finished it anyway, then hung it up to photograph and thought, hey. That ain't half bad after all.

I still think it would have looked better with the fabrics all mixed up, but what're ya gonna do?

Because I am unemployed and destitute, I will have to quilt this myself, though I have yet to do a complete quilt in free motion, and I fear I may die of alcohol poisoning by the time I am done. But I shall forge ahead, because I am fearless. And broke. Did I mention broke? Like might-have-to-ration-the-Dr.-Pepper broke.

And, as I told you it would, this new popularity has gone to my head, and I'd like to see if we can get the Twitter followers to come up to Facebook and Google numbers. I don't actually tweet much, but that's because I have only 22 followers and all the new followers I get are named "hotwetmama2112" and have one tweet which links to something vile and I have to report them for spam. It's hard to be devoted to a social medium that makes you want to scrub your email in-box with bleach.

But I think I'd like to pursue that medium further, mainly because I think it would be a great exercise in trying to write short humor, but I need followers for motivation. To that end, I am planning a Twitter event, date to be determined, in which I live tweet the pin basting of the above quilt. I can't guarantee there will be pictures, since my phone refuses to email photos, but there will be frustration, consternation, and trepidation - as well as several colorful turns of phrase that will require ID verification to read.

You'll have to be a follower of The Bitchy Stitcher on Twitter to read the madness as it unfolds, so click here to follow me and I'll announce the date of the event here as well as on Facebook.