Friday, April 16, 2010

Someday, I will use the phrase "egregious maledictions" in a rap about quilting.

Holy effing cow, y'all. Here I go and get all lazy on you, publishing a post that is actually a rejected Quilter's Home piece I wrote almost a year ago, and and my blog stats go through the roof! People were emailing the link, posting it on their own blogs, mentioning it in sewing forums. Which is very hard for me to understand, since there were no penis-shaped objects or egregious maledictions contained in it. But, you know, whatever winds your bobbin, babes.

Seriously, though - a thousand hits in two days? Unreal, especially for a little blogger like me. I hope at least some of those new visitors manage to stick around, but, of course, once they see my crappy sewing and gouge out their own eyes with rusty garden tools, they may reconsider.

In other news...

DO NOT READ FURTHER IF I AM MAKING YOUR BABY A QUILT. SORRY, BUT THIS IS MY QUILTING BLOG AFTER ALL AND I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO REFRAIN FROM SHOWING PICTURES OF THE FIRST QUILT TOP I HAVE COMPLETED IN, I DON'T KNOW, SEVERAL MONTHS.

...I have just completed a quilt top, the first in, I don't know, several months.  If you recall, I hacked up a Moda Hunky Dory layer cake, added some white Kona, and hoped for the best.

When I started putting the blocks together, I did what I do best, and that is adhere to the party line. In other words, I kept like with like, and did not attempt to do any crazy mixing and matching, because that's  probably still punishable by death back where I come from. But even as I realized that this was a stupid move, I kept going, because I just couldn't deal with yet another stack of blocks going to the set of plastic bins that I now think of as the Quilt Graveyard.

So, I plowed through and finished it anyway, then hung it up to photograph and thought, hey. That ain't half bad after all.


I still think it would have looked better with the fabrics all mixed up, but what're ya gonna do?

Because I am unemployed and destitute, I will have to quilt this myself, though I have yet to do a complete quilt in free motion, and I fear I may die of alcohol poisoning by the time I am done. But I shall forge ahead, because I am fearless. And broke. Did I mention broke? Like might-have-to-ration-the-Dr.-Pepper broke.

And, as I told you it would, this new popularity has gone to my head, and I'd like to see if we can get the Twitter followers to come up to Facebook and Google numbers. I don't actually tweet much, but that's because I have only 22 followers and all the new followers I get are named "hotwetmama2112" and have one tweet which links to something vile and I have to report them for spam. It's hard to be devoted to a social medium that makes you want to scrub your email in-box with bleach.

But I think I'd like to pursue that medium further, mainly because I think it would be a great exercise in trying to write short humor, but I need followers for motivation. To that end, I am planning a Twitter event, date to be determined, in which I live tweet the pin basting of the above quilt. I can't guarantee there will be pictures, since my phone refuses to email photos, but there will be frustration, consternation, and trepidation - as well as several colorful turns of phrase that will require ID verification to read.

You'll have to be a follower of The Bitchy Stitcher on Twitter to read the madness as it unfolds, so click here to follow me and I'll announce the date of the event here as well as on Facebook.

15 comments:

Wendy_MT said...

You are absolutely, wonderfully funny! Love how your baby quilt turned out... who needs mixed up colors when you've already laid out like-to-like. Next time, grab something from your quilt graveyard and give the mix-up look a try. I don't tweet, just got hooked up to Facebook last fall, so I won't be able to follow you there. Too many electronics, not enough time :) to quilt. Awesome job, Megan!!

Vicki said...

I love the quilt top. And I'm jealous of your quilt magazine writing gig. I have got to get up the bravery to figure out how to do it and then submit something to a magazine.

Lisa Marie said...

Okay, this is completely out of character for me but I actually LIKE the colors all in a row like that. I think even more than I would with them all mixed up. And I normally would mix them all up and never consider keeping them all together! Funny how that works, huh?
You make me laugh.
Just a suggestion but if you have enough cash for shipping? I'll quilt the top for you. Because I'm crazy that way. =]

Peggi said...

Well if you're broke, why not put a "donate" button on the blog? At the least, it might keep you supplied with Dr. Peppers....

Baby quilt looks great!

Sew Here We Are said...

Like the quilt, very pretty....But would be more you..all the colors mixed up :-) Keep me laughing, makes hubby wonder what I am up to!!

Nancy said...

Hey why not do some straight line quilting. Follow those diagonal lines...

Hey loved your latest article in Quilters Home. I didn't want to buy the whole magazine just for your article so I stood in Walmart and let my ice cream melt while I read it... funny stuff...

JKP said...

Call me dull, boring and a bit OCD, but I like this quilt with the colors all lined up. There is a sort of rainbow effect, rather than a mixed up crayon box effect. Both effects would be pretty, but I'm partial to rainbows and usually have to line up all the colors in my crayon boxes.

P. said...

The quilt turned out great! I like it just as it is, and I'm sure your recipient will too, lucky kid!

Rick said...

I just started quilting a few years ago and I LOVE ALL your posts. Thanks. Rick

M said...

Love your blog! Love your quilt! Found you when American Quilter's Society chose Raccoon Creek Quilts as their blog of the week on Facebook. She listed your site among her favorites. Forget Twitter!

The Calico Cat said...

Think long & hard before you answer...
Do you really "need" twitter & facebook? really?

Do you go to quilt shows? (There is one in Gairthsburg this weekend - friendship star quilt guild.) There might be a free can of Dr. Pepper in it for you...

Patty said...

I'd follow you on twitter, but I can't figure out the damn thing.

Patty said...

Oh and btw, I like your quilt top. There are NO QUILT POLICE so you can do anything you darn well want to.

Anne said...

"...I kept like with like, and did not attempt to do any crazy mixing and matching, because that's probably still punishable by death back where I come from..."

Sounds like a quilt guild I shouldn't join!

Anonymous said...

Deborah says:

I love the baby quilt!

Don't worry about mixing the colors up. The baby will fill in the blanks with various bodily fluids for that true designer touch.

Keep on quilting! :)