Thursday, April 1, 2010

New opportunities (NSFW!)

I never cease to be amazed at how the popularity of this humble little blog continues to increase. I do believe my 7 or 8 regular readers may now be more like 10 or 11, my Facebook fan page gets a new subscriber or two just about every day, and even my Google followers have grown just in the last week or so.

So naturally, when you start to see that kind of fame, it's inevitable that advertisers and merchandisers start calling, wanting to get a piece of the Bitchy Stitcher action. Now of course, I wouldn't advertise just anything on this site and I certainly wouldn't put my name on any product that I didn't believe in. So far, the companies that have offered deals for putting the Bitchy Stitcher name on their products have been lackluster at best: hand sanitizer, rock polishing compound, tennis balls, mulch. Nothing, obviously, related to quilting or even that adresses the needs of quilters. I was starting to think that my dreams of a merchandizing empire were eroding away.

Until yesterday.

After I got the kids to bed, I was sitting at my computer, engaged in Round 3 of an email battle I have been waging with my former employers over how much money they still owe me. I was creating a detailed chart showing every paycheck I had ever received from them, the amount, and what time period it covered when I got an email from someone named Rod at the Humdinger Health Aid Corporation. The Humdinger Corp. he said, manufactures products that aid in wellness and relaxation, with particular emphasis on the needs of women who lead stressful lives and need stress-relieving products that are both portable and effective. I would, he said, not only be able to provide such products to my readers with my name and logo on them, but I would also be involved in the design of new products, so that I could ensure that the items I offered to the public would be manufactured with quilters in mind.

So, last night I began thinking about how I would re-engineer one of their most popular products, this battery-operated personal massage device:



You can certainly see why this is a best seller! And as great as I'm sure this tool is, I felt that with a few modifications, it could truly become a quilter's best friend. First, i thought that a rounder end on this part would work well:



Then, I thought the whole think should be more silver and streamlined, for today's modern quilter:



Finally, it needed a killer name to make it fly off the shelves:



Whaddya think?

I'm really excited about this new project so please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. And who knows, I may be doing a Ripper giveaway soon, so some lucky reader can rip her seams all day in a state of battery-powered bliss!

29 comments:

Linda said...

Ho, Ho, Ho,ha, ha, ha! I love it. Think I need to have that ripper! And to think, he contacted you directly!! Obviously you're going up, and up, and up, in this world! Love it!
Lurking Linda

jen said...

Again- I. Love. You. I just do.

Betsy Lynn said...

ROTFLMAO!!!LOVE IT!

Wendy_MT said...

You are totally awesome and now I need to go get ripped myself! .... oh, I mean go rip some seams! :) :) ;) ROTFLMAO!!

Deob said...

Girl - you are SO bad - thanks for making my day!!

Kathy said...

OMG! I am laughing my big ole butt off!!!!!! You are sew bad. I'm at work and my co-workers are laughing too. One just walked out to smoke and said to me "don't be rippin'!" LOL

Diana said...

OMG! I am at work......are you crazy!? I actually snorted laughter! Um, the guys were wondering what I was laughing about..I told them it is a quilting blog..and they lost interest..TG!
You are so funny!
Di

Barbara said...

I have been ripped !

ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gene Black said...

LOLOLOLOL

Oh my! I can't dare make the comments that are spewing from my gutter of a mind after reading/seeing that! I think I will pass on that giveaway!

kheli said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

You are awesome!

Barbara said...

Had to show the girls at work this. Very funny.

Sarcastic Quilter said...

God love ya, that's hysterical.

Duff said...

This is fabulous and I love your modifications. Do you think it could be a multi-use tool? Perhaps I could use it as a hitchhiker's thumb after a quilting retreat and I'm dead broke? Do you think I could get a ride with that thing?

Patty said...

Suppose he will agree to your modifications. Wow, what an interesting sewing notion. Can't say I've ever seen that in my LQS.

Nancy said...

thanks....

now i need to go clean the diet cherry-vanilla dr pepper off my computer screen...

Anonymous said...

LOL - OMG imagine pulling that puppy out at a guild meeting featuring new "tools"...thank you for the great stress release this AM! I love your blog and please count me as number 12 or 13 of your regular readers.

peggi said...

Rofl consider me entered for the giveaway!

deborah said...

Your new design for the 'ripper' would indeed reduce a woman's stress level...how could someone look at that without bursting out in laughter? Love it...was laughing out loud when I saw the pic in Google reader and laughing even more now:)

shequilts said...

ROFLMAO. That's all.

Sew Here We Are said...

Way too fricking funny!! YOU ROCK!!

Michele said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cynthia L. said...

You are going to be rich girlfriend!!! Where do I place my order?

Jane said...

All I can say is LOL!!! BAHAHAHA!!!! Too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jandi said...

I would like to place my pre-order now. And perhaps an order for the original rabbit as well. Hey, I usually get very frustrated when ripping. Maybe the combo will become a new must.

Marla said...

What lucky quilter wouldn't LOVE to have a "ripper" cause you can never find the damn thing when you are looking for it. You go girl!

Copper Patch said...

And I thought sewing made me happy....bring on the mistakes that need to be ripped!

Wilma NC said...

Only a quilter could look at a dildo and see a seam ripper, lol.

MadeByMeaghan said...

When my twenty-something friends tell me that quilting is kind of a prudish old-lady hobby I'll just send them to this post! :)

Lynn E said...

Got to get the rights to the T shirt empire . " I've been Ripped"

ROFLMAO