Saturday, December 19, 2009

What War on Christmas? Christmas is waging a war on ME

So, hey! How are ya! Good? That's great! I'm so glad to hear that. Me? Oh, you know. Just hanging out. Chillin'. While the frozen wrath of God buries us all and we smother underneath several tons of cold, wet, white HELL.

There's 14 or 15 inches out there already, and it's supposed to continue for the rest of the day and into the night. I have been stuck inside for the last week with a sick kid, and now I am stuck inside with a sick kid who is getting better, so she's back to being her cranky, bossy, rude, irascible self. AND. MY. HUSBAND. HAS. PNEUMONIA.

This was Devon last week:

This is my husband today:

And this is me. For the foreseeable future.

Seriously. I'm at the end of my rope. It's Devon's 3rd birthday today, and I ruined her cake, and I can't get out of the house to go buy more eggs or milk, and I'm just on the verge of tears all the time. I have 3 days left to prepare for our drive to Tennessee for Christmas, and there is every possibility that my husband will not be well enough to come, and I don't think I can drive all that way with two kids all by myself. But if we don't go, my parents will be heartbroken; they live for seeing these kids, and have been counting down the days to Christmas, so I guess even if David bows out - WHICH I GUARANTEE YOU HE WILL - I have to do it. But with the girls home, I can't get anything done, and now I can't even CLEAN OUT THE CAR because I can't even GET TO THE CAR.


Worst. Christmas. Ever.


kheli said...

wish i could help...

solomi558 said...

could be a bit worse ,were in a freeze up here in England and my 2yr old boiler has conked out----------cottonreel

Erin said...

Oh honey... what an awful time you're having. Just when I'd imagine you thought things couldn't get any worse, too. :-\ I envy you the vast amounts of snow, but I don't have anywhere important to be, and I'm not cooped up with a sick family, and.... oh, poor Megan.

There are any number of things one might be able to say to try to put a positive spin on things, but those never help any, do they? When I am stuck in situations remotely resembling what you're going through, I just want sympathy, there-there's, and HELP.

I wish there were something I could do to help. Have you seen the best Christmas decoration ever?

I'm about to head off to a party full of computer geeks (our company's Christmas party) with a full-blown migraine. WHEEEE!

(Fuck this Christmas right in its hairy ass.)

(Reason #12068 I am going straight to hell, I know.)

Leah Day said...

Can't your family come to you, bring presents, and help you shovel all that snow?

Seriously, now is the time to lay on the guilt:

If you wanna see your grandkids, you gotta come to them..."

Or, even better, why don't you all just decide that Santa has decided that Christmas is happening a week later?

That would save you a crap load of grief.

2ndAvenueStudio-Rachel said...

Seriously?? That sucks!
Now is the time to say "fuck it" and throw in the towel!

make yourself a giant hot cocoa/kaluha with marshmellows
a big bowl of popcorn,
double dose the meds (to the sick)

download a great funny movie!
and take a break.... your overwhelmed.

Nancy said...

oh, I agree...have grandparents come to you...with the presents... even if they have to fly...
Surely the kids don't know what day Christmas really is?? Kids will believe anything...tell them Santa is also sick and will be delayed..
I do love your posts...I love how you tell it like it is..

Jane Macdermott said...

We'll at least you have missed the Christmas rush at the shops :) I love how honest you are in your posts. Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate.

joanne lendaro said...

First, get a grip. Have a soothing drink and settle down. The great thing about kids is at that age they don't really know what day it actually is, THEREFORE if the birthday, christmas, or WHATEVER is a couple of days off they will never know until they are old enough to watch the tapes. My daughter still holds this over my head, but hey, I had to screw up somehow. Give them something to share in therapy.

Honestly after 4 kids in 5 years all born in May and June I needed a break. So some years their birthdays were a few days off....

And as far as the TN thing...well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Buckle up buttercup, ya know Mom and Dad will be happy to see you too!

Have a Merry Christmas!

Chris Cruse said...

Ah, you poor girl. I have no uplifting comment. Sometimes it just sucks and things just don't work. If it means anything, I bet we've all had at least one really really bad Christmas. Sure makes all the rest even better.
I just hope things start improving really fast for you all.

Sew Here We Are said...

I came across this quote the other day...As I was reading your worst Christmas ever... it came to mind.." We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Cosby danced with Danny fucking Kay!" It doesn't help but I thought it humourous..?..maybe not..LOL...It's the Sunday before Christmas..altho I am not snowed in and no sick peeps in the house..I still have 3 quilts to finish before Christmas eve, It's looking like hubby is probably going to get an IOU in stocking for anything resembling a present for Christmas, Not real sure when I am going to take my sorry ass into my office and get my work done before the week is out, OH WAIT this is about you...SORRY!!!!! Megan darlin...dig around and see if theres any valium, xanax, rum, jack daniels, tequila, any will out for a bit..come to..gird your loins...and proceed like the trooper you are!!! :-) Yes I am ducking,,can feel all sorts of objects flying towards me!! I know it will get better , having gone thru a few 'worst christmas's ever''s the getting on the back side of the sleigh ride thru HELL thats the difficult part..Know your in my thoughts and prayers..Huggs..and Remember...Bubbble Wrap is less expensive than Therapy!

Sarcastic Quilter said...

Well, I'm IN TN and had plans to drive back east to NoVA on Sat. That didn't happen and even though I'm from NY and used to the snow, I am not comfortable hauling 3 kids and 3 dogs plus our gear to NoVA today on Sunday, knowing the DC metro area won't really have roads cleaned and treated by end of day. 11 hours later and we will be getting there just after dark when the roads are refreezing. No thank you. Maybe tomorrow. Oh, and I'm supposed to be working tomorrow. I don't have sickies in the house but I can feel your pain with time running out!

Just go ahead and cry. You might find your kids are so surprised they back off for a little bit and give you some quiet for a few.

Sunna Reyr said...

I'm sorry to read about your ordeal but shit really does happen and strange as it is, it always seems to happen it threes. You've had a bit more than that so you should be looking at better times soon.

Now, I bet this really cheered you up. Yeah right.

I wish you a restful Christmas.