Friday, December 4, 2009

The Table Runner that Ate Cleveland

For the last couple weeks, my mom's table runner has been sitting idle while I mulled over how to quilt it. I finally decided that I would create a sort of flower design in each square and quilt that, following the lines that I would draw with chalk or some other fabric marking device. The fact that I haven't done any free motion quilting in weeks and weeks was clearly not a deterrent when I decided to start in on this little plan.

I completely choked on the first attempt, creating what looked like an amoeba or a puddle of vomit in the center of the first square. That I managed to rip out, but the second time, I had the machine running so fast, and I was moving the fabric so slowly, that I actually created sub-atomic particles with my stitches. It may, in fact, be a portal to another dimension now.

So now I have a vague circle-type thing and three petals that look like ass and I can't rip them out. So, what do I come up with as my solution? STIPPLE OVER IT.





I then stippled every square, and then stitched in the ditch (sorry, Leah) around the squares and around the main border. When I got to the border, one of those demons I clearly loosed from hell with my portal lodged in my walking foot and every 20 inches or so, I ended up with a gi-freaking-normous rat's nest. This happened over and over, but I didn't get any photos for you, because every time it occurred, I ripped the threads out with my teeth and spat them out with all the bile and hatred I could muster.

Well, I was mad.

Now I have a quilted table runner that looks acceptable, save for the errant circle and petals in the middle square. Which probably aren't that noticeable. I should just leave well enough alone, right?

WRONG!



I'M GONNA APPLIQUE OVER IT. SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP ME. THE DEMONS ARE TAKING OVER!

7 comments:

joanne lendaro said...

What can I say....you are possessed and there is no turning back now..keep us posted, this should be interesting.

Leah Day said...

Ha! Am I you virtual quilting mentor or Anti-Stitch-in-the-Ditch Demon that sits on your shoulder and yells at you?

I had to laugh while reading this because this is exactly what happens to me if I quilt before warming up.

Literally, I take a little 6" square and do a few exercises: loops, swirls, zig zags, until my free motion juices are flowing.

Otherwise I create hellish gates of my own which is why I've occasionally spent 8 HOURS ripping out teeny tiny stitches.

Oh and, stitching in the ditch is perfect fine so long as you're using fillers with it. It's only bad if you just stitch in the ditch and leave it at that.

Go battle those demons - you're getting better and better!

Leah

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

There's no stopping you now! I'm on the edge of my seat awaiting the outcome of the applique! My attempt at applique has been, well, disasterous comes to mind. Go get 'em! Be the ruler of your sewing room!

Copper Patch said...

Oh my...what the hell is going to happen next???
Your honesty is refreshing. I'm sure all of those other bloggers out there aren't always as successful as they seem :)
Look forward to the next installment.
Abbe

Nancy said...

sometimes more is not better...

step away from the table runner...

Sarcastic Quilter said...

Ahh Holy Hell, applique it. I need to see you push through your misery cause I been there and done tha and ended up just chucking the whole damn thing in the garbage.

Erin said...

"I was moving the fabric so slowly, that I actually created sub-atomic particles with my stitches."

Everyone at the office is looking at me as if I've gone utterly mad. Literally lol'ing. :D

I would totally have to applique over it, too, because I wouldn't ever NOT see the amoeba. Provided, of course, I didn't light the flippin thing on fire and/or defenestrate it.