The Table Runner that Ate Cleveland

For the last couple weeks, my mom's table runner has been sitting idle while I mulled over how to quilt it. I finally decided that I would create a sort of flower design in each square and quilt that, following the lines that I would draw with chalk or some other fabric marking device. The fact that I haven't done any free motion quilting in weeks and weeks was clearly not a deterrent when I decided to start in on this little plan.

I completely choked on the first attempt, creating what looked like an amoeba or a puddle of vomit in the center of the first square. That I managed to rip out, but the second time, I had the machine running so fast, and I was moving the fabric so slowly, that I actually created sub-atomic particles with my stitches. It may, in fact, be a portal to another dimension now.

So now I have a vague circle-type thing and three petals that look like ass and I can't rip them out. So, what do I come up with as my solution? STIPPLE OVER IT.





I then stippled every square, and then stitched in the ditch (sorry, Leah) around the squares and around the main border. When I got to the border, one of those demons I clearly loosed from hell with my portal lodged in my walking foot and every 20 inches or so, I ended up with a gi-freaking-normous rat's nest. This happened over and over, but I didn't get any photos for you, because every time it occurred, I ripped the threads out with my teeth and spat them out with all the bile and hatred I could muster.

Well, I was mad.

Now I have a quilted table runner that looks acceptable, save for the errant circle and petals in the middle square. Which probably aren't that noticeable. I should just leave well enough alone, right?

WRONG!



I'M GONNA APPLIQUE OVER IT. SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP ME. THE DEMONS ARE TAKING OVER!