Last Tuesday, both my girls had dentist appointments; Devon would be seeing the dentist for the first time, so Harper was scheduled to go right before her, thus providing the example of how utterly fun getting your teeth cleaned can be that would compel her to open her own mouth nice and wide when asked to do so. And, in spite of my prediction that she would lose her shit the second anyone tried to pry open her lips, she was quite the trooper:
However, the dentist informed me that her upper jaw is malformed because of how hard she sucks on her pacifiers, and so now it is time for her to give them up. When he saw my look of despair, he said that cold turkey is the best way, and the Binky Fairy should come and take them one night and leave her a nice prize in return.
Riiiiight.
Next day was one of the marathon meeting my boss likes to have with me. I'm sorry, but in general, I have no desire to be in anyone's company for more than 2 hours, and 1 hour to discuss work seems ample to me, but she likes to have meetings of three or four hours, or more.
The following day, my older daughter, Harper, had an appointment with her pediatric opthalmologist. Harper has strabismus, which is a muscle imbalance, and Brown's syndrome, which has to do with tendon sheaths, or something, and her eyes are crooked and she could lose vision in one eye if we can't get her to start using them together. The doctor said that it is now time to try surgery, and so we scheduled her to go into the hospital on January 20. Since I have had the same surgery for the same condition 4 times in my life, I was able to tell her a lot about what it would be like, and this was the sole topic of conversation for the rest of the day.
Friday, among approximately 874 other things that HAD to be done that day, I attempted to prepare for the arrival of the Binky Fairy. I tore through the house, looking for every errant silicone nipple, then drove to several toy stores to find a toy makeup kit to give as her "prize". We attended her daycare provider's holiday party that evening, then went home and took away her only comfort object.
That night there was only 10 minutes of screaming before she fell asleep, but that was becasue she was tired. The rest of the weekend was unadulterated hell, made worse by the fact that my husband was sick AGAIN, and was just too, too frail to be of any damn use. I'm not saying he does it on purpose, but I will say that my husband always manages to get sick at the MOST INCONVENIENT TIMES, times when we have extra kid considerations, like a 4-day weekend where both girls are home from school and daycare or GIVE UP THE BINKY WEEKEND, which he had admitted was too scary for him to even think about beforehand.
I'm not going to go into details, but I am going to admit - because we have that kind of relationship here - that on Sunday afternoon, I caved. I gave in. I folded. She found a binky that I missed, and I let her have it. I am the worst of all possible mothers: The Mother Who Couldn't Take The Binky Away. My heart was never in the process to begin with. I never felt that just taking them all away and forcing her to deal with it was the best method for her, but with everything else going on, I had no time to think about it. Had I been able to, I would have realized that I needed to find a way to make giving them up seem like her decision, even if it is really mine. I don't know how I will manage to do this yet, but I can tell you it won't be until after Christmas. I don't have the heart to do this to her again this calendar year.
And now? She is sick. Up all night last night with a fever, chills, and a horrible cough.
How is it possible that she and David have gotten sick twice in two weeks, Harper once, and I have yet to have even a sniffle? It's coming, I have no doubt. Just in time for the drive to Tennessee on Christmas Eve.
So if I ever manage to post here again, it will be proof of the afterlife, because I will surely be dead within the next week.
10 comments:
I am ashamed to say that I laughed out loud at this post, but was definitely laughing with you. When my daughter was three and a half we tried to take away her soother. My husband and I approached it together and told her that it was time for her to give it up since she was a big girl now, etc. (Why didn't we think of the Soother Fairy? That would have been so much better.) But when she started to cry uncontrollably, so did I - I'll never forget the look on my husband's face when his partner in this difficult affair became a turncoat. Do I need to say it, she kept the soother. However, we told her that on her fourth birthday she would have to give it up. And every so often in the intervening months we would remind her that she would have to give it up on her birthday. When the time came, it was hard and there were tears, but she put it in a box and we taped the lid down. We were prepared for a week of crying at bedtime, but amazingly, there wasn't a peep out of her, even that first night. I guess she had worked out the separation anxiety during that six months. We left the box on top of the bookshelf for months and every so often she would ask to look inside to make sure it was still there because she was "saving it for her kids". This summer, my husband and I cleaned out our basement, and guess what we found? I still couldn't bring myself to throw it away - it's still there in that little box.
awww...lol you poor thing!! Ours wasnt a soother, but the bottle. I nursed both my daughters, but when the youngest was 10mths old she got sick, another story, weaned her and she went on the bottle. When it was time to give up the bottle, we had a plan. On a weekend visit to Grandma's we were going to 'forget' the bottle there and as it was a bit of a drive to go back..well hopefully that would do the trick. On the way home she started asking for her bottle (ie~the reason to give it up..when they start asking for it it's time!) Well she was fine with having 'forgotten' it at Grandma's, her almost 3 yr old sister wasn't! For the next 4 hours I listened to big sister go on and on and on about how sissy needed her bottle. Finally I caved around midnight, and ran around for the next hour and half trying to find a bottle. Back 23 years ago when there weren't all night stores open this was a task!! In retrospect I should have just driven back the 2.5 hours to grandma's to get the fricking bottle!! AAhhh well..hope your days get better and all get well! Love your blog. Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas, and May the New Year bring Prosperity, Joy and Happiness!!
Megan you are the bright spot in my mornings. Love reading about your life. My kids are grown, but I can relate to so much of what you say. Keep it up. Have a Merry Christmas and lots of love for the New Year.
I don't know if you watch jon and Kate plus 8, but when it was their time to stop with the binky they gave all of them to another baby that they knew. That way they were involved in the decision to stop. Sorry this is the only advice I have since I don't have kids. I love your blog since you say what the rest of us think! Amber
Wow, 2 sick people at t he same time? Sometimes shit happens. Love reading your blog. Sometimes people say I'm bitchy. I think I'm just direct and they just can't take it. LOL
ttfn :) Yuki
Thank you for the post this morning, I just love your blog and you made my life seem normal - well for a few minutes anyway LOL
Wow, your kid lets the dentist LOOK IN HER MOUTH? My son, who is 4, has been to the dentist 4 times so far and the farthest we've ever got is the chair being tipped back. Then the screaming and jumping over the arm rest occurs. Then comes the bribing. (Is it okay to promise sugary sweets in front of a dentist?) Then I get pissed and start threatening him with taking away all of his toys. By then the dentist says something like, "We'll try again next time" and sends me a bill for a full exam.
Good luck with the binky weaning! We went the route of limiting binkies only to nap and bedtime and then cutting a bit off of the end of the binky, then more and more until there was barely anything left to suck on. Worked for us!
Found your blog through the SMS giveaway and love it!
My hubby is a grad student and in the midst of finals. This is the biggest week of the semester for me at the mom's support group at church. (I'm the craft lady and we're having 2 crazy big crafting days and another party.) So, what happens? BOTH of my daughers are throwing up and I get a wicked sinus infection that is akin to some pestilence promised at the end of the world. So, in a sad, sad way, it's good to know that another Mama is hanging in there through a whole mess of crap!
We've limited our 2 1/2 year old's binky usage to nap time and bedtime. The trouble is that she has a 1 year old sister. It's too hard to take it away while her sister has one. So, I think in a few months we'll try to wean them both and ditch all of the binkies in the whole house. It is a day I look forward to with dread.
Hang in there!
bless your heart!!! My 2 year old daughter is a thumb sucker and I have no idea what I'm gonna do! She just went through having a staph infection in her thumb - man was that ugly and after having it lanced and drained by the doctor we kept it bandaged and wrapped up for 2 weeks until it healed.. and now it seems that she's making up for lost time by sucking on it every waking moment. :/ I know I should have kept on covering it up for at least another few weeks in hopes to break her of this habbit - but like you I'm weak...
it's her only comfort - her twin brother who she shares a room with still wakes at least once if not twice most nights screaming and crying and never one night of their 2 years has Olivia cried out in the night - her thumb is her comfort... I can't tell you how many nights I wanted to pull my hair out b/c Paul Thomas was up YET again - only to think ... it could be worse... they both could be crying. :/
at least you have the option for a fairy to come when you get ready again... I'm stuck with dealing with the thumb. :/
Love from Texas! ~bonnie
Megan, don't worry. All kids use braces today and isn't a binky the problem. If your little girl needs a pacifier,let her keep it and try to find out why she needs it. My daughter use to suck her thumb until she was 6(no fairy to take it, hun?)
At this point, her dentist had to use some kind of dispositive which was fixed to her mouth(inside, upper part)and there was no space anymore to put the thumb. Then she stops...
But don't worry, she will grow and you will miss a lot this nights!
Hugs
Carla
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