Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I have a spatial relations problem.

So, I'm making these diamonds, right? And, in the table runner in the magazine I am working from, they alternate direction to make a chevron pattern. The instructions say NOTHING about this, so I assume that it's going to be pretty simple, and I just start cutting away with my nifty template/ruler combo thing.

I sew together two rows of diamonds, assuming that in order to change the direction, you just turn the strip the opposite way. Because I am too spatially-challenged to understand that THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE DIRECTION IS TO TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN.

See - happy diamonds, angled to the left:



Now, flip it around - STILL angled to the left:



But, turn it upside down:



And, voila!, angled to the right. So I get it in my head that to create the alternating rows, I need to have TWO templates, one oriented to the right, so I take the original paper template and trace it on plastic again, only this time UPSIDE DOWN. Because I am so, so clever.

Now, it does occur to me once or twice that these diamonds are symmetrical, but the empirical evidence doesn't lie, so I am clearly on the right path. I tape the "new" template to the other side of the ruler:



and then spend several more minutes wondering why I still seem to be cutting on the SAME ANGLE. So then I lay the template/ruler combo thing down on the OPPOSITE end of the strip and NOW my cuts are angled in the opposite direction. Success!

Feeling all proud for having overcome my handicap, I take my new stack of diamonds over to the machine and stitch 'em up...but they're still angled to the left. Motherfucker! I look over my stacks of diamonds and slowly begin to realize that there is no discernible difference between those cut from the "new" template and those cut from the old, and in a moment of clarity that I suspect was caused by solar flares, realized that you just have to put your two pieces together differently before you sew. Lay them out one way and they will angle one way; turn them 90 degrees and they'll go the other way.







So, of course, instead of just sucking it up and moving on, I chose to blog about it, so I could go over it again and again in my mind, replaying it like a game-losing fumble on the jumbo-tron. Because I never fail to be utterly fascinated by my own stupidity.

15 comments:

Vicki W said...

I laughed so much at this one that I even read it aloud to hubby. We've all had this day for sure!

Joy said...

I can't count how many times I've been caught out in a dilemma like that!!!! LOLOL!!! I'll be reading this to my DH when he gets home from work too!!
Hugs,
Joy :o)

Jacque. said...

Ohmygosh, Megan...I think you are so funny! Actually, you're very honest in your writing. I think most of us tend to downplay those moments that we all have like you. Thanks for making me laugh. Course, I do sense your frustration, but am very happy that you figured it out in the end.

Tozz said...

Oh dont worry you are not alone with something like this....I have done it numerous times and wonder what goes on in my head.

The Calico Cat said...

You took this one from my play book!

Sarcastic Quilter said...

I'm so glad you blogged about it b/c in my last comment I said I saw a patriotic quilt done in alternating rows of diamonds and well, I'd have done all the same things you did. So, I'm glad you beat me to it and posted and now I can avoid it.

MichelleB said...

Not stupid. I can't tell you how many times I have to run things through my head, and draw them out, to make sure that I'm going to get them right.

Mimi said...

Ohmygosh, I've gone through the same thing! I am glad to know that it's not JUST me!

Hugs

Rachael Adele said...

I did the exact same thing on a giant star quilt. It took me forever to figure it out!

paulahewitt said...

you twit. not about the diamonds, anyone could make that mistake,(well maybe not everyone) but because this would have made a great magazine article and you've just fucked your chances by publishing it here :)

Megan said...

At this point, I don't think anything's getting published, so I may as well lavish it on the blog!

Sunna Reyr said...

This fits so perfectly with what I'm experiencing with some stupid paper piece blocks I'm making now.

NB it's the blocks that are stupid, not me.... absolutely not me.

floribunda... aka Julie said...

oh yeah -- definitely something I would do... but we won't do it again, right?

Michele said...

I am so there. I once needed mirrored image templates, but I thought that rotating them 180 would do it. NOT
Of course, this is the woman who pulled up to the pumps to get gas, realized the tank was on the other side of the car so I got bak in and drove to the other side of the pumps. Still no gas tank. Assuming that I just hadn't noticed it the first time, I drove around to the first side again. By then, I'd realized my mistake but I was laughing so hard I couldn't pump gas.

Megan said...

Michele - I have done that very same thing, only I couldn't laugh about it at the time. I just drove off out of sheer embarrasment.