Last week was clearly too calm and uneventful, because I awoke this morning to find an email from my dad and a text message from my daycare provider. I read the text message first, and therein discovered that she had taken her 17-year-old son to the emergency room because he seemed to have the stomach flu for a few days, but instead of getting better, it was getting worse. She and I are like the Texty Sisters - we text each other all the time and have long text conversations and we bond and as a a result she seems more likely to say "don't worry about it" if I'm late to pick up Devon rather than charging me two bucks a minute like she's supposed to. I just like having someone to send text messages to, other than my husband.
So while we're having one of our cell phone-based confabs, I read the email from my dad. In it, he has forwarded an email from my brother, who has written to tell my parents that yesterday at 6 a.m, he awoke to find himself on the floor of his bathroom; the tubing that runs to the toilet was broken and spraying water; he had a nasty bump on his head, a cut on his foot, and had bitten his tongue. When he was able to gather himself and talk to his wife, she noticed that his face looked "odd" and they proceeded to the emergency room. Two CT scans and an MRI later, it appears that my brother has two brain tumors.
Both the doctors at the hospital and the neurosurgeon he contacted today said that there is a possibility that what they were seeing on the scans was bleeding from the blow to his head that happened when he blacked out. But it begs the question: why did he black out - and quite possibly have a seizure - in the first place? There will apparently be a gathering of several neuros this Thursday, who will all confer to try to come to a diagnosis. A biopsy is probably imminent. Scans to see if there are tumors anywhere else. I can't speculate beyond that.
If you believe that there is any power in prayer or positive thinking, I'd be much obliged if you spent a little bit of it on my big brother. He's a really good guy, funny as hell, too. And I'm not ready to lose him.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Mommy, why are you on the floor taking a picture of Dora's bathroom?
A couple people have asked me about the jelly roll block I made, and though "a couple" doesn't exactly constitute overwhelming demand, I thought I'd briefly explain how it's made. I'm sure there is a name for this block and that everyone on earth already knows how to do it, but let's all just be patient for the sake of those two people who don't. (My first how-to book will be called Short Bus Quilting).
Since the block is made from jelly rolls, and jelly rolls are 2.5 inches wide, the first square is a 2.5-inch...well, square. For the second color, you would cut one piece at the same size (a 2.5-inch square) and one more piece 2 inches longer (4.5 inches). Then, for each subsequent color, you cut one the same as the longest side you just sewed before, and another 2 inches longer than that. Ad infinitum, if you're into that.
Since I did seven colors, I ended up with a big-ass block. How big? Pretty damn big. Hmmm...let's se if we can find something to put next to it. To, you know, give it scale. Oh, hey, thanks kids. That's perfect.
Since the block is made from jelly rolls, and jelly rolls are 2.5 inches wide, the first square is a 2.5-inch...well, square. For the second color, you would cut one piece at the same size (a 2.5-inch square) and one more piece 2 inches longer (4.5 inches). Then, for each subsequent color, you cut one the same as the longest side you just sewed before, and another 2 inches longer than that. Ad infinitum, if you're into that.
Since I did seven colors, I ended up with a big-ass block. How big? Pretty damn big. Hmmm...let's se if we can find something to put next to it. To, you know, give it scale. Oh, hey, thanks kids. That's perfect.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Why it's a good idea to have a manual camera around the house
Yesterday, before I was called to come rescue my daughter from the perils of Throat Loogies, I grabbed a couple plastic bins that were on sale at the grocery store. I have been intending to work on organizing my sewing area (and yes, the loosely phrased "intending to work on" is very, very accurate here) and have been thinking that perhaps I should start organizing my scraps. Seeing as how I have several metric tons, even though I've only made 4 complete quilts, plus a few more quilt tops, in my short career as a quilter.
My first task was to use one of the bins for all the weird jelly rolls I got on eBay so long ago (they turned into this quilt and then the rest of them sat in the bottom of my scrap box until yesterday). I had already pulled out some of them over the weekend to make this:
But brightly colored strips of fabric all in one handy bin only serves to turn my children into magpies. Last night, the bin was closed.
This morning:
I will, no doubt, be finding these for weeks.
But, hey, guess what? I was taking a picture of my shelves:
to contrast with the shelves I am going to steal from my husband becasue he has not utilized them to my satisfaction:
and I thought I should probably move that big, ugly box:
Hey! What's that on the floor?
I'm guessing it was trying to hide until I had cleaned my damn house.
My first task was to use one of the bins for all the weird jelly rolls I got on eBay so long ago (they turned into this quilt and then the rest of them sat in the bottom of my scrap box until yesterday). I had already pulled out some of them over the weekend to make this:
But brightly colored strips of fabric all in one handy bin only serves to turn my children into magpies. Last night, the bin was closed.
This morning:
I will, no doubt, be finding these for weeks.
But, hey, guess what? I was taking a picture of my shelves:
to contrast with the shelves I am going to steal from my husband becasue he has not utilized them to my satisfaction:
and I thought I should probably move that big, ugly box:
Hey! What's that on the floor?
I'm guessing it was trying to hide until I had cleaned my damn house.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Oh, boogers
This was supposed to be a picture-heavy post all about how I have jumped from my Hello Betty nine patches back to the pinwheel quilt and then over to an ill-advised project to use up a bunch of old jelly rolls that I bought on eBay in some place mats, which may end up being a quilt instead, 'cause the block I made was pretty cute...BUT I LOST MY CAMERA. I downloaded our Christmas pictures off of it, and haven't seen it since. I do also have a Pentax digital SLR, but I'd have to GO UPSTAIRS and CARRY IT DOWN. Then I'd have to TAKE OFF THE LENS CAP, which I would then lose, and there'd be that panicky search for it, which would end hours later when it would fall out of my bra when my husband decided to get all frisky while I was brushing my teeth. And I just do not have the patience for that today, since I had only been home from dropping off my kids for one hour and fifteen minutes, when the school nurse called to tell me Harper was having trouble swallowing and I better come get her before she goes into anaphylactic shock! So I rush over and take her to the doctor, and she seems perfectly fine the whole time, and the doctor looks her over and asks her a bunch of questions...and determines that she has post-nasal drip.
Post-nasal drip. I gave up my day for backwards snot.
Post-nasal drip. I gave up my day for backwards snot.
A Personal Plea
Would the kind and patient person who emailed me AGES ago, wanting the Labyrinth quilt pattern, please email me again? I have lost your email and want to send you the pattern via USPS.
Real post later today!
Real post later today!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Oh, right. This is a quilting blog.
I have been forcing my husband to watch the children on his own for a few hours each day since Thursday in order to get some work done and also so I can sew, dammit. I reminded him that this little quilt blog venture here has actually generated a small amount of bi-monthly income, and thus it would be unfortunate if I never actually got around to doing any quilting, since that's what I'm supposed to be writing about. He couldn't argue with that, though he looked like he was working up to it, and so I spent my afternoon yesterday hunched over my sewing table, cutting up a Moda layer cake into 2.5-inch squares while the girls climbed on him and made him play keep-away with a pink feather boa.
Back in late November (I think. I'm too lazy to actually go back and look), Erin of Confounded By Quilting (and how great a name for a blog is that?) was giving away a layer cake to the person who could best teach her how to tie a quilter's knot. And, as you know, I love any reason to write up a tutorial. Here's what I wrote:
How to Tie A Quilter’s Knot
1. Thread needle.
2. Thread needle again after pulling thread out while looking around for drink.
3. Trim thread several times, since the damn thing won’t go through the hole anymore, and you’ve licked it so much it’s starting to glisten.
4. Ask husband, boyfriend, or pizza delivery person to thread needle for you.
5. Holding needle between thumb and forefinger, hold one end of thread (left end if needle is in your left hand)between the fingers and palm of that hand.
6. Get tired and decide to watch TV instead.
7. Pick needle back up and try holding it again. Figure you just need to keep that thread out of the way and tape it to your arm instead.
8. Take other end of thread and make a loop that is longer than the needle, holding the end of the loop in between the same fingers that are holding the needle.
9. Drop everything and curse the needle and thread to hell for all eternity.
10. Once you have it all back in place, take up some of the thread from your loop and wrap it around your needle three times.
11. Holding the thread taut with your right hand, inch your left fingers (the ones holding the needle) up over the loops you have wound around the needle, until you can begin to pull the needle up through your fingers and through the loops you just made.
12. Keep pulling thread, while keeping your fingers together, until you feel the knot tighten into a little ball.
13. If instead you feel a rats nest that is roughly the size of your fist, complete steps 1-12 again after drinking several strong cocktails.
Good luck!
And, whaddya know, she picked me as the winner! So, I have for the past few weeks been the proud owner of a Moda Hello, Betty! layer cake, a lovely bundle of fabrics in teal, red and brown which has been sitting on my sewing table, mocking me for my lack of gumption.
So, Friday morning, I'm on the computer, and I decide to check in with amandajean and see if she's posted anything new, and what do I read?
AMANDAJEAN IS QUITTING HER BLOG.
I know, me too.
I could not believe it. This woman is like the queen of quilt bloggers, the woman who inspired a nation to sew and post. Ask just about anyone who quilts and blogs about it what inspired her to start blogging,and Crazy Mom Quilts will definitely be in the list. She's on every blogroll I've ever seen. AND SHE"S QUITTING.
Apparently, the blog was a huge amount of work for her, and boy, oh, boy do I wish that I could say that. But considering that I tend to post once a week these days, that ain't gonna be my excuse anytime too soon. But, to bring this all back around to where I started, I decided that, in honor of the woman who taught me the joys of white sashing, I would finally do a nine-patch quilt. With the layer cake.
And, of course, I hate them. I'm going to rip them apart and try something more coordinated than just nine random pieces slapped together. Maybe blocks in each color group, combined with white/ecru for contrast?
Or, maybe it will end up in a ziplock along with my pinwheels. That would suck. Clearly, I will not be taking up amandajean's mantle any time too soon. But that's okay. I doubt she's headed for a career based on dropping f-bombs and joking about drunken quilting, so I'd say we're both safe.
Back in late November (I think. I'm too lazy to actually go back and look), Erin of Confounded By Quilting (and how great a name for a blog is that?) was giving away a layer cake to the person who could best teach her how to tie a quilter's knot. And, as you know, I love any reason to write up a tutorial. Here's what I wrote:
How to Tie A Quilter’s Knot
1. Thread needle.
2. Thread needle again after pulling thread out while looking around for drink.
3. Trim thread several times, since the damn thing won’t go through the hole anymore, and you’ve licked it so much it’s starting to glisten.
4. Ask husband, boyfriend, or pizza delivery person to thread needle for you.
5. Holding needle between thumb and forefinger, hold one end of thread (left end if needle is in your left hand)between the fingers and palm of that hand.
6. Get tired and decide to watch TV instead.
7. Pick needle back up and try holding it again. Figure you just need to keep that thread out of the way and tape it to your arm instead.
8. Take other end of thread and make a loop that is longer than the needle, holding the end of the loop in between the same fingers that are holding the needle.
9. Drop everything and curse the needle and thread to hell for all eternity.
10. Once you have it all back in place, take up some of the thread from your loop and wrap it around your needle three times.
11. Holding the thread taut with your right hand, inch your left fingers (the ones holding the needle) up over the loops you have wound around the needle, until you can begin to pull the needle up through your fingers and through the loops you just made.
12. Keep pulling thread, while keeping your fingers together, until you feel the knot tighten into a little ball.
13. If instead you feel a rats nest that is roughly the size of your fist, complete steps 1-12 again after drinking several strong cocktails.
Good luck!
And, whaddya know, she picked me as the winner! So, I have for the past few weeks been the proud owner of a Moda Hello, Betty! layer cake, a lovely bundle of fabrics in teal, red and brown which has been sitting on my sewing table, mocking me for my lack of gumption.
So, Friday morning, I'm on the computer, and I decide to check in with amandajean and see if she's posted anything new, and what do I read?
AMANDAJEAN IS QUITTING HER BLOG.
I know, me too.
I could not believe it. This woman is like the queen of quilt bloggers, the woman who inspired a nation to sew and post. Ask just about anyone who quilts and blogs about it what inspired her to start blogging,and Crazy Mom Quilts will definitely be in the list. She's on every blogroll I've ever seen. AND SHE"S QUITTING.
Apparently, the blog was a huge amount of work for her, and boy, oh, boy do I wish that I could say that. But considering that I tend to post once a week these days, that ain't gonna be my excuse anytime too soon. But, to bring this all back around to where I started, I decided that, in honor of the woman who taught me the joys of white sashing, I would finally do a nine-patch quilt. With the layer cake.
And, of course, I hate them. I'm going to rip them apart and try something more coordinated than just nine random pieces slapped together. Maybe blocks in each color group, combined with white/ecru for contrast?
Or, maybe it will end up in a ziplock along with my pinwheels. That would suck. Clearly, I will not be taking up amandajean's mantle any time too soon. But that's okay. I doubt she's headed for a career based on dropping f-bombs and joking about drunken quilting, so I'd say we're both safe.
Friday, January 1, 2010
You Aught-a Know
Noodles just posted something I found rather compelling, and she in turn got the idea from a friend who had done it as an email to her loved ones, and I decided that I would do the same for my first post of 2010. I do tend to get maudlin rather than snarky at times like these, so just bear with me here, as I list my 10 greatest achievements of the last decade, in rough chronological order:
1. Created and published my own literary magazine, BrickStreet: A Journal of the Arts. A friend and I put it together ourselves, and I learned how to use Quark Xpress in order to do the layout myself. The experience made #3 possible.
2. Gave birth to my amazing daughter, Harper.
3. Quit my soul-sucking job in the retail optical biz, and, one week later, landed my dream job as assistant editor of a local magazine.
4. Gave birth to my beautiful little demon, Devon.
5. Had the stupid idea to start my own jewelry business from home, which ultimately didn't work out so well, BUT I created and built my own website, even though I had no idea what I was doing and no prior experience. More than anything, I am proud that I carried the project through to completion and did it entirely on my own.
6. Taught myself to quilt.
7. Started this blog.
8. Landed an even better job as assistant editor of another local magazine, for twice the pay and even better experience.
9. Gained roughly 60 pounds, and lost nearly 30 of them in the last year and a half. (I'm still pretty fat, though, and all that CHEESE added at least 2 pounds back)
10. Got published in Quilter's Home magazine, a gig that looks like steady work for as long as I come up with stuff for them to publish and there is a Quilter's Home magazine to be published in. I once complained to the current co-Editor-In-Chief, Jake Finch, about having to provide a picture, and her response was, "Dammit, woman! I am trying to make you famous!" Who would have thought ten years ago that there would be anybody interested in making me famous, or that it would come via a blog about my lousy sewing?
And, really, who would have thought ten years ago that any of these things would happen? The Aughts have been a hell of a ride. I can't wait to see what the next decade has in store for all of us.
1. Created and published my own literary magazine, BrickStreet: A Journal of the Arts. A friend and I put it together ourselves, and I learned how to use Quark Xpress in order to do the layout myself. The experience made #3 possible.
2. Gave birth to my amazing daughter, Harper.
3. Quit my soul-sucking job in the retail optical biz, and, one week later, landed my dream job as assistant editor of a local magazine.
4. Gave birth to my beautiful little demon, Devon.
5. Had the stupid idea to start my own jewelry business from home, which ultimately didn't work out so well, BUT I created and built my own website, even though I had no idea what I was doing and no prior experience. More than anything, I am proud that I carried the project through to completion and did it entirely on my own.
6. Taught myself to quilt.
7. Started this blog.
8. Landed an even better job as assistant editor of another local magazine, for twice the pay and even better experience.
9. Gained roughly 60 pounds, and lost nearly 30 of them in the last year and a half. (I'm still pretty fat, though, and all that CHEESE added at least 2 pounds back)
10. Got published in Quilter's Home magazine, a gig that looks like steady work for as long as I come up with stuff for them to publish and there is a Quilter's Home magazine to be published in. I once complained to the current co-Editor-In-Chief, Jake Finch, about having to provide a picture, and her response was, "Dammit, woman! I am trying to make you famous!" Who would have thought ten years ago that there would be anybody interested in making me famous, or that it would come via a blog about my lousy sewing?
And, really, who would have thought ten years ago that any of these things would happen? The Aughts have been a hell of a ride. I can't wait to see what the next decade has in store for all of us.
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