Friday, June 18, 2010

Speaking of crack...

...Moda just ruined my life some more by coming out with this eight ball:



Twenty-five bucks! I can't resist that, and I don't even have twenty-five bucks. Damn them.

I keep looking for inspiration in books and magazines, hoping that I can just use some of my stash, rather than buying yet more precuts. I've been hitting the local library more than usual lately, and discovered on my last visit that they seemed to have more quilting books in stock than usual, or at least different ones than I had seen before. But once I got home and sat down with my borrowed booty, I realized that, just like the last time I brought home a stack of quilting books from the library, I had nothing but a useless pile of ancient dreck. One book was all pretty with the promise of fat quarter quilts, but each quilt was just a collection of traditional blocks. One book touted some revolutionary method for sewing strips into tubes and then cutting them up in funky ways, but the instructions were totally incomprehensible (of course, I was trying to keep two small children from coming to blows over a  bottle of peel-off glitter nail polish at the time I was trying to read it, but still). Other books expected me to trace patterns onto plastic, and then outline them on fabric AND CUT THEM OUT WITH SCISSORS. This is 2010, people, and besides, rotary cutters have been around since the late seventies, effectively making them medieval technology. We should have laser-guided cutting gadgets by now, don't you think?

I am currently working on the sashing for my plane ticket benefactor's quilt, then it will need a border, and I'll be back to the problem of how to quilt it. I hate to mess up a perfectly lovely quilt by doing it myself, but then I really do need to try to do an entire quilt on my own, just so I know I can do it. But I suppose I shouldn't do that kind of experimenting on something meant to give away. "Here you go! Yes, it looks like an extremely large wadded up ball of fabric and tangled thread, but it's really a quilt. And I quilted it myself! See, if you can just pry this rat's nest away here a bit - ooh, look out for the needle shards! - you can see that I stippled it within an inch of its life! No mercy - that's my quilting motto!"

On second thought, maybe I should just sell my Wii Fit on eBay.

40 comments:

CarolynD said...

Sometimes the templates work really well. I pieced a Dahlia wallhanging, and had to use itty bitty plastic templates, b/c a rotary cutter would never have worked. Drunkard's path, too, or any more unusual shapes. I agree that it is medieval for straight sided squares and triangles.

Megan said...

I do realize that there is a place for them, and that they are necessary for certain patterns. It was supposed to be kind of a roundabout joke about my own limited skills. :-)

quiltaholic said...

I just found out about those damn Moda 'candy bars' this morning too - how the hell are we supposed to downsize our stash cupboards when they keep coming up with these things? It's like trying to look away from a baby kitten with sad eyes - SHEESH!

Wendy said...

You know, I'd never start anything that required the use of a plastic pattern either. And cutting things out with scissors? Just inspires my 3-year-old to find them and imitate me. On my fabric. At least she can't open the rotary cutter. Yet.

Hey Meg, I have to warn you that this is kind of a crappy offer. But I'd be glad to quilt it for you. Now, I just stipple my quilts on my machine. I do it reasonably well, but it's still not nearly as beautiful as a longarm. But I'm more than willing.

Wendy said...

And I should add that I REALLY enjoy machine quilting too!

Anonymous said...

Let's see...you want to buy pre-cuts, you don't want to work with a template, you would obviously never consider hand quilting. One is left to wonder what on earth you actually DO want to do. Negativity, per se, is not humorous, not is your typical profanity. You call yourself a wordsmith...so be one, and if you are going to call yourself a quilter, then, for heaven's sake MAKE one, and stop angling for freebies from your overly indulgent readers. You will never learn any skills that way.

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

Notice that comment is anonymous.....no cahoonas? LOL! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and while I'm at it, how must your husband feel when he reads how poverty stricken his family is? In this economy, most are struggling, but only you are whining about how poor you are. Really? Look about you, lady, and get some perspective.

quiltaholic said...

Megan - whatever you do, DO NOT listen to the post from the anonymous moron. Dear "Anonymous" (by the way, have the balls to post as yourself and not as anonymous!) if you don't like the blog, why the hell are you reading it? I challenge you to find another quilter (or human for that matter) who is not negative from time to time. If you can find THAT blog, stay there. The rest of us love the Bitchy Stitcher, and are quite bitchy ourselves from time to time.

floribunda... aka Julie said...

straight-line quilting can be really effective on many projects, and it's certainly easier than free-motion! Use masking tape to create lines and quilt next to the tape; you can re-use each piece several times.

"anonymous" definitely needs to develop a sense of humor and/or be willing to come out of the closet to say what s/he wants to say and stop being a weasel!

Kat said...

Yeah, last I checked no one was holding a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to read a blog...anonymous, if you don't like the negativity, maybe stop spreading it, huh? Grow a pair and get over yourself. *insert profanity-laden retort so profound and insulting that you crawl back in the hole from whence you came and never return*

Megan, your writing inspires a looser, more entertaining way of thinking. Even if I can't write well, I still find myself giggling over "Meganisms" that pop into my head during the day. I'd never be brave enough to share them (they're probably not that funny anyways), but you inspire unintentionally external giggles more than just when you post. Keep it up!

Cherie said...

Whoa, anonymous sure has a lot of time on their hands.....and needs to get a sense of humor. Poor, poor anonymous.

I for one LOVE your humor! As for quilting your quilt....I was so there. The first one I felt I successfully quilted was using the tape method for straight lines described by florabunda. Try it and I'll bet you'll be surprised :)

Sew Here We Are said...

Obviously Anonymous wouldn't know humor if it walked up and bit her/him in the ass.

soggybottomflats said...

Megan
I wasn't going to post a comment today because I could not really think of anything to say...then I read your comments, big mistake on my part!
So Anonymous is gonna put you down, huh? OMG, this is too funny! Much better then I had hoped for today.
I read a cool question on http://noodleheads.blogspot.com/ and jumped at the chance to answer that one. So, Anonymous, if you get the chance, and I'm sure you have the time on your hands, go to noddleheads blog and read her question and some of the answers that the readers have given. Blogging is different for everyone with a multitude of expectations, and is primarily self centered, and that is not a bad thing. I blog because I don't have girlfriends where I live, so this is my "coffee" time, fellowship with women. Anonymous, you are mean and a bully. Ask yourself this...would your grandmother be proud of your behind the door chat, or ashamed of you? We are all entitled to our feelings and frustrations. I have never felt that Megan has asked for anything. What you don't get is that IF and WHEN you start a blog, you might just make a friend and it really sounds like you need one.
Sorry about the soapbox Megan, but I agree about the books out there. I have actually learned more from blogs...now I wonder how many disappearing 9 patches I have and will make in the future!
Love your blogs Megan, Elaine in Texas

Megan said...

Have I mentioned lately that I love you all? I really do.

Norma Riehm said...

I love reading your blog so much I had to share with my blog readers by listing you as a link on my blog. So Anonymous poster...please stay away from my blog. I don't want links by you from viagra nor do I want to grow my breast size. On a good day I can be a prolific crabby quilter without being kicked over the top by a comment poster without the courage to OWN their comments. One Bitchy Sister Stitcher to another.

Kathy said...

LMAO! OMG! I think Anonymous needs to get a life! Hey, if ya don't like Megan's writing style, don't read the blog! Hello......ya just can't fix stupid...not even with duct tape.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I still say Megan doesn't need the easy, cheap, shock jock, Howard Stern attempt at humor, to be funny. The time she used a dollhouse toilet to show scale was funny. The mermaid with the blown out bra was funny. Fuck and shit, repeated numerous times in one post.....not funny. That's all I'm saying. Not a fan of those pleading poverty, who don't go out and get a job even if it's flipping bugers, or checking groceries. Others do, while waiting for their "big chance" to come along. I will continue to check this blog from time to time, hoping that Megan actually knows that that she can write the pants off "funny" w/o cheap and easy shots. Now honestly, ain't that right, Megan. You know you don't need vulgarities, because you've got the skills. You just don't choose to use them. Besides, I bet your readership jumps by 50+ just from the controversy. Please note that the commenters will focus on the perceived criticism, and totally miss out on the positive intent.

soggybottomflats said...

wtf?????????????

jrebekah said...

I still adore you, Bitchy! And just for good measure- fuck, shit, piss, damn.

lindasteller said...

Megan - you ROCK! Love, love, love your blog and there's no need to listen to negative people.

Anne said...

Megan,
I, too, are tempted by precuts, finally broke down and bought some honey buns (1.5" strip rolls) and haven't the faintest notion what I'll do with them. I understand you on that. As far as quilting your ATBQ (airline ticket benefactor quilt), do it yourself. Just do it. Again, I understand about not wanting to mess it up, so pick a real simple design, like a basic meander or parallel lines. It will be a gift from your heart, and won't be judged. Repeat after me, it won't be judged. You'll learn tons by doing it yourself and in the long run, you'll be happy you did it. It won't be judged.

Lisa Marie said...

I can understand where this anonymous person is coming from. I do feel that it isn't necessary to say things like that as this *is* Megan's blog and she can write whatever she wants. Her blog/humor/vulgarity isn't for everyone (and I've told her that) and she knows it. Some people are offended by profanity. I, personally find it refreshing. And one that note, ----
" June 18, 2010 12:39 PM
Blogger jrebekah said...

I still adore you, Bitchy! And just for good measure- fuck, shit, piss, damn." <---- That made me laugh out loud.

As far as the point of this blog, I'm anti-pre-cut. But I'm getting better about fat quarters, at least. A lot of my own designs are fat quarter friendly. I just am not the type of person to buy them. If I like a fabric, I want a few yards, or even the rest of the bolt!

Tammy said...

Moda knows all of our weaknesses! I agree with Anne. Pick a simple quilting style and go for it! I'm horrible at free motion so most all of my quilting consists of straight lines. On another note, I find it interesting that Anon is griping about language on this post when I only saw "damn" and it was only used once. I've seen much more colorful posts! I'm glad to see a blogger that's willing to be herself and put it all out there. Thanks Megan!

Littlebook said...

Warning- a bit of a rant is coming up:

So I read this posting earlier and thought to myself, "Thank God, another person loves the precuts and doesn't want to mess around with templates. I feel much better with my limited quilting skills now." I didn't post anything because I wasn't feeling that witty and wanted to drink more coffee. Then I read on the facebook page that there was a anonymous negative posting and I had to go and read it. Usually I don't get involved in these things, but WTF?

I like pre-cuts - the colors make me drool half the time and it is so much easier to have a pile of pretty sitting on my table to encourage me to do something with them. And, it is cheaper than going to the liquor store to get me a pile of pretty to gaze at, but I digress.

I am new to quilting and I don't like templates either. Yes, I don't know how to use them and I will change that in the future. But the book Megan discribed sounded simply awful and unnecessary when there are other techniques to use that don't involve an advanced physics degree. Also, modern quilting makes me swoon and in my humble opinion quilts that are pieced without the use of templates look beautiful and sometimes more beautiful than those with templates. There, I've said it. Modern pieced quilts are the quilts I aspire to. It doesn't make me or anyone who feels the same less of a quilter.

And as far as hand quilting. Sorry, not for me; it's machine all the way. Hand quilting is beautiful, yes. But I don't have the patience and/or the time. Plus, if I take out a quilt to hand quilt it, it will be covered with cats who then distract me with their cuteness. Projects don't get done here unless a machine is involved. And, that's my hobby and I don't need to defend myself against a purist. If you prefer to hand quilt, go for it, I'm not going to stop you. Just don't tell me I'm less of a quilter (and anonymous, that is exactly what you did).

Having said all that, I wouldn't have posted this had anonymous not gone personal. But, bitching about someone mentioning that times are tough and not having more money to spend on fabric is off in my book. And the part about what Megan's husband must think? Is this 1950? I'm guessing Megan's husband thanks all that is good and pure every day that he has Megan in his life.

Keep up the good work Megan and please talk about the realities of quilting (including not having money to do all we want to do). I need this blog.

Again, sorry about the rant. I accidently bought half-caffeniated coffee and it is apparently backfiring.

quiltzyx said...

Thanks for your pissy, er, pithy, comments anonymous. You seem to have inspired some great comments. Too bad that you can't just enjoy the blog for what it is ~ one woman's feelings & experiences on her quilted path of life.
I've never gotten the feeling that our Bitchy Stitcher thinks she is better than other monetarily challenged people either. She's only speaking from her OWN point of view. She will grow in her quilting as she goes, and raising 2 girls along the way, well, so she goes slowly. Who cares? She is growing & hopefully having as much fun doing it as she is giving us by writing about it.
So there.

LisaE said...

I love your blog, read it daily. You make me laugh out loud. Anonymous obviously is lacking in social skills.

As for precuts, I have been tempted but have only bought them for specific projects or as a gift. But I did see a really cool scrappy applique quilt the other day and the quilter said she used one charm pack and one jelly roll to get the coordinated scrappiness. I think that is a grand idea!

Anonymous said...

Deborah says:

Re: Anonymous....can you say Quiltzilla? Wondering if you got kicked out of your guild for negativity and had to vent somewhere.

(The only reason I use the anonymous function to leave comments is because I don't want to have a gazillion different logins. If I do leave a comment I always leave my name. I just think it's good etiquette.)

That said....

I, too, am drooling over the candy bars and, as my husband is still out of work, am also resisting purchasing them, but don't know how long that will last. (Disclaimer for Anonymous: I am not begging for free stuff!)

Blogs are supposed to provide a connection for people and part of that includes the blog author (if they choose) being free to let people know what is going on in their lives. I'm glad you, Megan, share your life with all it's humor and frustration with us.

Remember....WAITT! (we're all in this together!)

Gene Black said...

Megan, I can based on reading that you got a negative comment. After laughing my way through the post, I saw "Absurdly Anony-mouse's" comment.
I highly recommend she/he go get a prescription for mood altering drugs. Generally I am against drugs, but some people just need a big ass dose of Thorazine! (or a kick in the 'big ass')

Love ya gal!

Anonymous said...

Deborah says:

Or maybe Anonymous is just having a REALLY bad day. I totally understand that and how sometimes it's easier to take stuff out on "strangers" than the people in our lives...can't always say to our boss, "F. you!" or to our children, "I wish you were on Jupiter!" (I know that's a little mild, but you get the idea.)

So, Anonymous, if you are having a REALLY bad day.....you got fired, discovered someone you love has cancer, are being foreclosed on, well, take a few deep breaths and talk to your best friend (or the person that makes you feel loved).

Cathy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Craig said...

Wow, Megan! Looks like you've really got a controversy going on here! All I've got to say is, it's not like you don't believe in truth in advertising - it is titled "The Bitchy Stitcher"!! I love your blog and hope you ignore Anonymous! Some people need to learn how to hit the delete button rather than the publish button!! Oh, and BTW, make up a small quilt sandwich to try out your machine quilting skills on - it's a great way to learn before you risk messing up your quilt!

Sarah Mac said...

Love reading your blog Bitchy Stitcher! It attracts so many special people!

Patty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pattie Crum said...

Check your library's online catalog, they should have all the new quilting books available from all the library's in your area. You can put a hold on what you want and let you know when it's in. I love precuts and have loads of them. The Moda Bakeshop website has free patterns to use with them so check it out if you haven't already. I love your blog bitch.

Linda said...

Oh wow! I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard! I sooo needed this today! This is the first time I've read the blog, but I am hooked! Loved the writing and the observations and opinions. I was going to comment on a few particularly funny comments, but there were so many that were rather outstanding that I must just say you should all take a bow! About the precuts -- I feel the same way, but I've gained an insight today. I've been separated from my stash for nearly a year, and will soon be reunited with said stash, machine and all my (many) books in a newly rebuilt space. I've decided that one of the first things I'm going to do is to coordinate batches of fabrics and cut my own precuts. I know it won't be all the newest prints and colorways...but I loved them once, and I will love them again. Who knows...once they are hacked up into "pretty little piles" I may even make something with them! Keep up the great blog, Megan! And thanks to all of you for making my day! Oh! And, Anonymous? What jrebekah said goes double for me!

Cindi said...

Megan, sometimes it takes an idiot post to see who your real friends are. Don't change a damn thing about your blog. I wish I had the kahunas to post the way you do. I read your posts and always get a giggle. I'm very glad you don't take yourself too seriously and can share your flaws with us - it serves to remind us to HAVE FUN quilting.

I want to thank Anonymous. I haven't been this entertained in quite a long time!

Peggi said...

I, too, would like to thank Anon. I haven't laughed this hard since my cat accidentally snagged a plastic shopping bag over his head. He ran frantically around the house trying to get away from the crazy thing chasing him - took me ten minutes to catch the poor thing!

Megan, don't change a thing, we all love you as you are. You are a breath of fresh air and you make me laugh.

Wendy said...

Okay, I may be late to the comment game, new to the blogging game, but COME ON ... what part of "Bitchy Stitcher" doesn't Anonymous get??? Why even bother reading your blog if so offended?? Any, obviously, she/he does not have a couple of young ones hanging around mom (I also have two...preschoolers, to boot)while trying to get a little "me" time for quilting and/or affording more varieties of fabric by buying precut "packs". Love the pre-cuts, one) they're affordable and two) who doesn't love to look at all the pretties you get in one pack??

Love ya, Megan, your blog and your magazine articles. I wish you and your family nothing but the best and can't wait for your next installment :)

THE MOM said...

Megan. This is Tina in AZ. I see a lot of us have your back. I've expressed to you before how much you speak the words of my inner voice - so much more accurately than I could EVER express. When I check in on your blog, I always find something relevant to what's going on in my world - I don't know how you do it, but you obviously speak for many more like me. I love you - you soul sister! Shun the Anon!