Monday, May 24, 2010

The Bitchy Stitcher: Maintaining Poor Standards Since 2008

Does anyone here still remember that way back when this blog started, it was supposed to be both about my adventures in teaching myself to quilt AND the hilarity of trying to lose weight at the same time? The weight thing kind of fell by the wayside, not because I wasn't trying anymore, but because it was just too depressing an endeavor to write about. But even though I was ignoring it online, I did actually manage to lose some weight, almost 30 pounds at one point (10 of which came back over Christmas, apparently because of all that CHEESE). Even with 30 (then 20) pounds off, I am still overweight and out of shape and hating it. Though the year is almost half over, my original goal for 2010 had been to focus on myself - to write, quilt, and try with sincerity and earnestness to be healthier. I have managed to get in my own way on almost all these fronts so far (not hard at my size), but I made one step in the right direction last week. I joined a gym.

Despite my laziness, I actually love to exercise. I just have a hard time getting started. And I hate being outdoors (too hot, too cold, too many bugs, too sunny, too cloudy, no good place to put my keys, lack of adequate and convenient toilets, pollen makes me sneeze, grass makes me itch, and I know that rottweiler can clear that fence if it's hungry enough). I need a treadmill and a climate-controlled environment, preferably with a juice bar, but that's negotiable. There is a gym not 5 minutes from my house, one minute from Harper's school. They were having a special: $31 a month, $19 initiation fee. We just got our tax refund, which we agreed I could spend on a gym or a trainer or whatever I needed to get in shape.

I went to visit the gym on Thursday, and fell for it immediately. It was full of old people! There is nothing that makes me more comfortable than exercising around a bunch of flabby, wrinkly grannies. It has all the basic equipment, all kind of crammed into the available space. There is a shower, which apparently no one uses, since, like me, they're all just gonna go straight home anyway. It's unpretentious, and I like that. The salesperson used to be a freelance writer and was looking to get back into it on the side, and we bonded over that. It made me very happy.

I went the next day and did the treadmill for half an hour, got all sweaty and heart-rate-uppity, while destroying my hearing with my iPod. It was awesome. Did it again today. Still awesome.

Then, in a fit of energy, apparently brought on from the novelty of oxygenated blood reaching my brain, I decided to make a new table runner (and you thought there wasn't going to be any sewing in this post!).

I found this pattern on the Moda bakeshop site, which calls for several fat quarters. None of my fat quarters coordinate in any way, and I had just received three new ones from a reader who had borrowed my Labyrinth quilt pattern and sent them when she returned it (thanks, Michele!) So I decided to get all crazy and colorful and Freddy Moran-ish. This would be my first experience with flying geese, and, as I suspected, half of them sucked, half were pretty good, and the whole thing came together with the usual what-the-fucks and how-the-hells.




I also stayed true to form:


Because it just wouldn't be right unless I did something backwards, sideways, or upside down. AND NO I DID NOT LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.

I did straight line quilting using painters tape as guides:



And now I'm adding an awesome pink, magenta, and yellow striped binding:


See how my points got cut off? I think any guild lectures I manage to do are going to be called "How to Make Crap and Still Pat Yourself on the Back." Or maybe "Quilts Don't Care If You Curse."

23 comments:

floribunda... aka Julie said...

It looks like the points were perfect until you put the binding on... so why are you using such a big seam to attach the binding? Seriously, though -- it looks great and no one but you will notice the points once you put it on the table!

The Calico Cat said...

from my point of view on hte top, your had 1/4 inch seams on the edge - so how exactly did you manage to chop off those points?

Megan said...

I have an innate inability to sew on a binding at only a quarter inch. And until I made this, it didn't really matter.

Anne said...

Congrats on the exercise thing. I found the only way I can keep something up like that is to pay someone like a trainer or have a partner to keep me going.

Are you using 2.5" binding strips? I use a 2" strip on the binding so it'll end up closer to 1/4" at the edge.

QuiltSwissy said...

I love you, you are my kind of quilter.

quilts don't care if you curse............

glen

P. said...

"half of them sucked, half were pretty good, and the whole thing came together with the usual WTFs and HTHs..." I laughed so hard!

I think you may start a trend. If wonky is popular, why not "pointless"? Seriously though, the runner looks great to me. Love the bright colors.

annettesquilts said...

My peace of mind appreciates you not leaving it "LIKE THAT"

Carrie (in VA) said...

HAHA - Megan, it took three separate tries and CAREFUL searching to figure out what you did "wrong"!

Arlyn Parker said...

Love the colors and the pattern! About the points-Anytime I have points on the edges of a quilt I slap on a plain border that won't be so obvious when it's crooked.Or just cut your backing and batting 1/4 inch larger than the quilt-I always forget to do this until the third side!

Sew Here We Are said...

Love it..especially the colors. I tried to find what was wrong...quit after studying it for a bit...doesn't matter..It looks great to me :-) LOL , I think I quilt like you do...WTF's and HTH's.

gr8fulmum said...

I always find the pointing wrong points AFTER I start quilting the project!

Anonymous said...

Deborah says:

I would have left it. It wasn't that noticeable and many cultures put mistakes in their artwork/crafts on purpose.

I think the following will be my new motto: I quilt like crap!

This blog was so funny I had to read it aloud to my husband.

Keep up with the exercise thing. You'll thank yourself for it in about 20 to 30 years.

My preferred exercise is belly dance and I don't even have to leave the house to do it!

Florida Farm Girl said...

I thought you were talking about me and exercise!!!! I don't even have to pay for a gym, it's included in our HOA fees, and do you think I can haul my butt down there, a whole 2 miles?????

I really had to look to find that little design abberation! I've decided that most of the time, close enough is GOOD ENOUGH!!

Gene Black said...

who needs points? Sheesh, some people are so picky!

shequilts said...

Are you happy with it? Seems you are, in which case, that's all that counts. There are lots of us who have been maintaining poor standards for year. It's a covert thing. LOL

shequilts said...

Are you happy with it? Seems you are, in which case, that's all that counts. There are lots of us who have been maintaining poor standards for year. It's a covert thing. LOL

shequilts said...

Oh God. My children are right. I repeat myself.

thecraftyquilter said...

Thanks for great post! I laughed and laughed. I to struggle to keep my points from becoming non-points.

Wendy_MT said...

First of all, AWESOME for you that you are exercising!! I think you must have had a direct link to my brain with you recited your excuses for not enjoying exercising outside...I have a treadmill in my house, gym is in next town. Your quilt is real nice...kudos to you!! Love the painters tape for straight lines ... never thought of that one :)

ErkerM said...

You're too funny! And you were SERIOUS! You made SOMEthing within a week of getting new fabric. That's NOT supposed to happen. You're going to give the rest of us a REALLy bad name!

(And were you drinking and quilting?!)

kanishk said...

I really had to look to find that little design abberation.
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Lori said...

I loved every word of your post! And I had to really look to find the one goose flying backwards.

Sask-Kat said...

ROTFLMAO (my prefered form of exercise) I love your runner so much I am picking through my stash in order to replicate your color choices...and fyi aren't points supposed to look like that - mine always do.