The Bitchy Stitcher: Maintaining Poor Standards Since 2008

Does anyone here still remember that way back when this blog started, it was supposed to be both about my adventures in teaching myself to quilt AND the hilarity of trying to lose weight at the same time? The weight thing kind of fell by the wayside, not because I wasn't trying anymore, but because it was just too depressing an endeavor to write about. But even though I was ignoring it online, I did actually manage to lose some weight, almost 30 pounds at one point (10 of which came back over Christmas, apparently because of all that CHEESE). Even with 30 (then 20) pounds off, I am still overweight and out of shape and hating it. Though the year is almost half over, my original goal for 2010 had been to focus on myself - to write, quilt, and try with sincerity and earnestness to be healthier. I have managed to get in my own way on almost all these fronts so far (not hard at my size), but I made one step in the right direction last week. I joined a gym.

Despite my laziness, I actually love to exercise. I just have a hard time getting started. And I hate being outdoors (too hot, too cold, too many bugs, too sunny, too cloudy, no good place to put my keys, lack of adequate and convenient toilets, pollen makes me sneeze, grass makes me itch, and I know that rottweiler can clear that fence if it's hungry enough). I need a treadmill and a climate-controlled environment, preferably with a juice bar, but that's negotiable. There is a gym not 5 minutes from my house, one minute from Harper's school. They were having a special: $31 a month, $19 initiation fee. We just got our tax refund, which we agreed I could spend on a gym or a trainer or whatever I needed to get in shape.

I went to visit the gym on Thursday, and fell for it immediately. It was full of old people! There is nothing that makes me more comfortable than exercising around a bunch of flabby, wrinkly grannies. It has all the basic equipment, all kind of crammed into the available space. There is a shower, which apparently no one uses, since, like me, they're all just gonna go straight home anyway. It's unpretentious, and I like that. The salesperson used to be a freelance writer and was looking to get back into it on the side, and we bonded over that. It made me very happy.

I went the next day and did the treadmill for half an hour, got all sweaty and heart-rate-uppity, while destroying my hearing with my iPod. It was awesome. Did it again today. Still awesome.

Then, in a fit of energy, apparently brought on from the novelty of oxygenated blood reaching my brain, I decided to make a new table runner (and you thought there wasn't going to be any sewing in this post!).

I found this pattern on the Moda bakeshop site, which calls for several fat quarters. None of my fat quarters coordinate in any way, and I had just received three new ones from a reader who had borrowed my Labyrinth quilt pattern and sent them when she returned it (thanks, Michele!) So I decided to get all crazy and colorful and Freddy Moran-ish. This would be my first experience with flying geese, and, as I suspected, half of them sucked, half were pretty good, and the whole thing came together with the usual what-the-fucks and how-the-hells.

I also stayed true to form:

Because it just wouldn't be right unless I did something backwards, sideways, or upside down. AND NO I DID NOT LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.

I did straight line quilting using painters tape as guides:

And now I'm adding an awesome pink, magenta, and yellow striped binding:

See how my points got cut off? I think any guild lectures I manage to do are going to be called "How to Make Crap and Still Pat Yourself on the Back." Or maybe "Quilts Don't Care If You Curse."