People who have given me a plane ticket are NOT ALLOWED PAST THE CUTE KID

Today I finally made some progress on the next non-humorous article I have been assigned to write for Quilter's Home. My kids getting sick put everything off and I wasn't really able to get started until last week, and then I hit a very annoying wall. It turns out that when you are trying to write about quilters who don't use cell phones, or email, or - apparently - answering machines, YOU CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM. Of course, it doesn't help that I am a procrasti-dialer. I overthink every phone call I ever make, and always fear that I'm calling at a really bad time. In fact every conversation I have ever had with someone I didn't already know well has begun with "I'msosorryifthisisabadtimeIcancallyoubackatamorereasonabletimeofyourchoosing."

I talk fast AND have ridiculous neuroses.

So I sit to make a call and go, "Well, gee, it's only 10 a.m., and some people like to sleep in. I better call at 11." And then at 11, I think, "Well, gee, it's so close to lunch. A lot of people eat early. I better wait til 1." And so on. I'm not sure what I think is going to happen. One time I met a friend's girlfriend, and I really, really liked her and wanted to befriend her (which I never EVER do) and one day I came up with an excuse to call her. Her boyfriend answered, and I told him I wanted to talk to her, and I heard her say as she came towards the phone, "Megan? Why is she calling me?" I guess I think THAT is going to happen, plus maybe a pop quiz or something.

But I finally reached someone, and we had a lovely chat. I forget sometimes how much normal people like to talk about themselves. I'd be hard pressed to come up with much to say if someone wanted to interview me. "So, what's it like being the world's greatest - and possibly only - quilting humorist?" "Um. Good? I guess?...Can I go now?"

But what was even better about today (oh, besides the fact that I also started my next humor column and - not to toot my own horn or anything, but let's just say I smell Pulitzer!) was that I made two blocks of my plane ticket benefactor's quilt and HOLY CRAP are they awesome. Now I know she reads this pretty regularly, so before I show you the blocks - which I have to do - I will show you a picture of my children. You know, as a buffer.

Cute, huh? Want 'em?

Okay, now here are the blocks I made today:

HOW COOL ARE THEY? I am just so pleased with how they turned out, even though they are made with Hoffman Bali Pops, which, for the record, suck. Apparently they are cut in Indonesia where the fabrics are manufactured, and Hoffman figures, Eh - what're gonna do, they're Indonesian, which is another way of saying Too Cheap To Give A Shit. And while the fabrics themselves are lovely, they are clearly cut by people who aren't paying attention and don't care, and, really, who can blame them? My own personal rotary cut strips are way more consistent than these things, which I guess means I'm a better rotary cutter than some under paid, Third World sweatshop laborer. Um. Yay me?

I still have to figure out what to use for sashing, but I think this is going to be a really nice quilt. I'm actually looking forward to giving it away.

I can't believe I actually said that. I better go find something I hate about it so I can sleep tonight.