This morning I checked my email to find 5 new comments - 4 of which were from the same reader! At first, I figured I had finally gotten one of those looney readers you're always hearing about - you know, the ones who can't spell and who write the entire comment in all caps and say things like IF U WRENT SO FAT MAYBE ID DATE U HA HA DO A FAVR AND JUST SHUT UP. Fortunately, all 4 were from a lovely lady who just had many, many things to say.
And one thing she said struck me as a good topic for a post. She said that a friend had been reading this blog and had directed her here, but that friend wasn't sure how to "read/take" me. Myra, please tell your friend she is not alone. Most people have no idea how to take me.
I think that a lot of life is damn hard. Being fat, not having enough money, raising kids - even teaching myself to sew. I have migraines that last for a week at a time. My sweet part-time job as an editor is probably going to end soon and I don't have a lot of prospects for further work-from-home employment. My family all lives far away, and I lost my best friend when I started having children and she couldn't deal with my attention being drawn away from her.
So I deal with life the only way I know how: I try to make it funny. I don't sugarcoat a thing. I don't pretend to be happy when I'm not. But even when I'm miserable, I'm finding ways to laugh about it. It may be sardonic, it may be sarcastic - but it makes me laugh, and that keeps me sane.
People who meet me in person don't know how to take me because i say the kinds of things I say here with a totally straight face. My landlord said to my husband one day, "Your wife's funny, isn't she?" Which I assume she phrased as a question because she really wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh at the crazy shit I come up with.
So, yes. It's okay to laugh. In fact, I really hope you do, but I totally understand if you don't get my sense of humor, or if you find it grating, or just think I should DO A FAVR AND SHUT UP. I'm not going to shut up, but I totally, totally understand if you think I should.