Monday, December 12, 2011

Welcome. And Beware.

Hello! If you are here as a participant in Sew Mama Sew's Giveaway Day, then you probably have no idea who the heck I am, and you may not even care. BUT I CARE ABOUT YOU. So, first, I am going to show you what I am giving away:


That would be a copy of Modern Log Cabin Quilting by Susan Beal.

Now, a little bit about me. I am a self-taught quilter who has been blogging about learning to sew and other equally riveting topics since 2008. I am a humorist by profession, so what I do here is often irreverent, unrepeatable, and frankly, downright dirty. I curse with impunity, so if F-bombs and other delights give you the heebie jeebies, I suggest you look elsewhere for your quilty humor. Or you could go read my Unraveled columns over at Generation Q Magazine, where I never curse at all, yet still manage to offend people because everybody knows that quilting isn't the least bit funny.

Over the years I have built up a great following of like-minded readers, who have seen me through a lot of things, including my big brother's diagnosis of brain cancer back in 2010. So great was their support, they even bullied, badgered, and bribed their significant others into posing for a fundraising project for my brother and his family: The Quilter's Shirtless Man and Spicy Burrito Calendar. (You can go here to read more about it and here to peruse all the pages or even, I daresay, buy one). So, because I know that my readers want to have their men displayed in quilters' homes everywhere (who doesn't, really?), I'm going to give away a calendar as well, along with the book.

To win (and yes, all my dear friends who have been with me forever, you should enter too), just leave a comment telling me your porn star name (that would be the name of your childhood pet combined with the name of the street you lived on— mine is Minnie Bluegrass. No lie.) and I'll announce the winner on December 18.

Good luck!

16 comments:

akmingo said...

Snoopy Orpheum.
I'm fairly certain that's not going to be a successful name in that profession, or probably any other.

Jodi-JoJoMia's Place said...

I love that book and already have that calendar but I would pass it on to one of my quilting buddies. My name would be Lady Dirt Road. We didn't have a street name cause I grew up out in the boonies so I like the way Dirt Road sounds. Thanks for the chance to win. I love your stuff!

Kat Rainville said...

Err...my only pet was a fish I had in college. So I guess my pornstar name is "Doorstop Hartwell". If we go with today's answers, i'd be "Zucchini Archery Lane".

I'd f*ck me.

Tricia said...

Love this!!!

Lady Saybrook....not to bad :-)

Anonymous said...

Not sure if this is where I post but here is the name tramp Morton. Fitting for a porn star name:) love your humor. Roxie

Karen said...

Love this game...patch 143 is mine :)

Megan said...

Scarlet Canoe--HA! not very attractive! :)

Amber said...

Nice to meet you Minnie Bluegrass, I'm Caramel Wanstead :)

Gail said...

Sister Rural Route 2. Nuns can be porn stars, right? I need a calendar. And a book. I love this blog, thanks!

mdmaybe said...

Cinder Work - not the most pornstarish...

Pat V. said...

Fluffy Longview.

Emelote of Calais (Erin Thornton) said...

Mine would be Smokey Maple Grove or maybe Smokey MG for short. That might be more sexy I think! Lol!

Leah said...

I'm Blackie Walnut.

Heather said...

Heather Candy. I named all my pets after myself. :blush:

Mirlin2u said...

"Howdy Girl Baby Snooks Prefontaine" A bit winded... (thanks to registration regulations) so her nickname was... Baby Snookums Prefontaine. ;D

The New Mrs. said...

I am intrigued. Seriously.

As for my porn star name, it is (no kidding) Cleo Versailles. God bless my kooky mom.