The QSMASB Calendar

It started out, as nearly everything in my life does, as a joke. On my professional web site,, I said on my bio page that I had been lucky enough to combine two of my great loves—quilting and writing—into one career, but that someday I wanted to gather all of my passions into one publication: Quilter's Shirtless Man and Spicy Burrito Monthly. Being the thrifty humorist that I am, I recycled the joke on the blog, made a pinboard on Pinterest devoted to the concept, and soon readers began suggesting that if I didn't mind potbellies and fur, they'd take a photo of their own personal man-companions bare-chested, be-quilted, and, well, holding a burrito. And I counter-offered: if I get 12 such photos, I'll make us a calendar. I got 14. I made us a calendar.

I decided that I wanted to make this calendar a fund-raiser for my brother's family. My big brother is fighting brain cancer and has been since January of 2010. I hope that I can give him and his family both a little extra money, to help ease some of the burdens this illness has brought them, but also maybe a laugh as well.

The calendar is available for purchase at and costs $19.99 plus shipping. Please understand that I cannot be responsible for fits of overwhelming lust, insatiable cravings for two-hander carnitas-n-guac burritos, or any divorce proceedings after your man refuses to let you photograph him for next year. And no, I do not know the name of that quilt pattern nor of the fabric contained therein, and I will not give out the models' phone numbers no matter how much you beg. I am told, however, that the cover hunk has a single brother who has a Masters in aero-astro-engineering from MIT and is also the manager of a roller derby league in Boston, so contact me if you're interested. But if, somehow, my husband and I divorce in the next few weeks, I totally have dibs. Rocket scientists are hot.

And yes, if all goes well, I do hope to do this again next year, but don't send your photos just yet. I want to make sure that the 2013 Q.S.M.A.S.B.C. is even better than this one, so I'll be working on some guidelines to help you take better shots as well as maybe a website devoted to the project. But until then, please feel free to send me pics of your sewing room walls enhanced by half-naked, burrito-totin' man muffins (and quilts. Can't forget the quilts.) Or of the looks of delight and rapture on the faces of your friends as they open their Christmas gift from you this year. That would make a nice gallery, too.

Contact me about the calendar at