Presenting the QSMASBC 2013

I know I have been out of commission lately and I hope you all will forgive my long absences. Each issue of GenQ is at least 6 weeks of long, long days (and nights), and once that baby is put to bed, I go completely brain dead until we have to rev up again for the next issue, which is in approximately 23 hours. But instead of watching endless episodes of True Blood and reading trashy novels until my eyes cross, this time I spent my week off getting the awesomest of awesome things ready for you.

The Quilter's Shirtless Man and Spicy Burrito Calendar is here! Check out these beautiful chunks—I mean hunks—of hot, steamy manliness. We've got cuddly guys. We've got lean and lanky guys. We've got cut and buff guys. And we've got a kilt, a horse, some sort of farm machinery, a boat, and a naked booty for Christmas!

A big smooch and hug and endless thank yous to the guys who posed and the friends and significant others who took the shots. You are all beautiful and wonderful and I love you all. If your shot didn't make it in this year, please try again next year!

Check out the beefcake that could adorn the walls of your home next year:

December 2012

Steve, I am told, insisted on going commando under his quilt and is already recruiting others to participate in the 2014 calendar. Go Steve!

January 2013

A long-haired man on a horse, wearing a kilt, and sporting tattoos and two nipple rings. I'd have included this even without the quilt and the burrito.

February 2013

Okay, that thing looks like a lawnmower, a backhoe, and a dune buggy had some sort of weird three-way sex and made a mutant machine baby. Dan, however, looks totally laid back and ready to mow. Or hoe. Or hit the dunes. Duuuude.

March 2013

It's The Big Man In the Little Boat!

April 2013

Mark, as you may recall, was our cover model and Mr. October last year. He and his wife Ida are just the most wonderful people and they sent me a whole CD chock full of epic pictures of Mark. That quilt was made by Mark's mom and quilted by her aunt. Mom loved to piece, but hated quilting, and Auntie loved to quilt but hated piecing. I need to get into a relationship like that.

May 2013

Richard's friend looks embarrassed. I hope Richard had pants on.

June 2013

This is June AND the cover. I had to put this on the cover. And then I had to spend a reeeeaaaally long time looking at it to make sure it was just right. I better go check it again, just to be sure.

I thought I wrote about this somewhere else but I can't find it, so you get to hear about it again. I got this picture on Christmas Day last year from Lori, whose kids had made her a calendar with all her quilts in it. And the last picture in the calendar was this beauty. The boys all agreed to let me use it for our calendar. The three on the right are performers and you need to go to their website right now and bask in how freaking adorable they are. I highly recommend the video of them on American Ninja Warrior.

July 2013

Y'all remember a while back when I posted on Facebook about a fellow quilter whose boyfriend had two bikes stolen and how a friend of hers was raising money for them to get him a new bike (and replace the other stolen one that belonged to another friend)? Well, he got the bikes, and this is him with the bike that many of you helped him get.

August 2013

Alex just started quilting last year and this is his first quilt. One assumes that this is also his first time posing with that quilt shirtless while holding a burrito, but you never know.

September 2013

I happen to know that Chuck here is also completely starkers behind that guitar. I also happen to know that they are from the Nashville area, so I assume that Chuck is crooning a country tune and using his burrito as a guitar slide.

October 2013

This is one of my favorites. And though I'm sure they have a fence or a thick hedge or something, I keep imagining that the neighbors were all very intrigued by what was going on next door. And since Rob and his wife had to take this multiple times before we got a shot we could use, I also imagine those neighbors probably have some photos of their own that they're holding onto in case there's ever a property line dispute or something.

November 2013

Oh, Murray. Murray, Murray, Murray. Put that thing away, honey, before someone gets hurt.

December 2013

Christmas booty! Neil sent me a couple tush shots on FB (he does figure modeling) before he took this, which I thoroughly—and I do mean thoroughly— appreciated. His wife made the fig leaf mini-quilt especially for this photo. Of course, it's a BIG mini-quilt. Jumbo, really.


And there you have it! The calendar is again being sold through Lulu.com, same as last year and is the same price at $19.99. Thank you again for helping me help my brother's family and for being patient with me while I figure out how to balance my GenQ duties with my beloved blog.

Winners!

Okay, taking a quick break from the madness around here to say that the winners are:

Kathie Wilson
SewLindaAnn
Sarah C.

I will contact you directly if you included your email in your comment, otherwise, email me your mailing addresses please. dontdrinkandquilt(at)gmail(dot)com

The GenQ Blog Tour

Hello! Today is my stop on the Generation Q Magazine blog tour. Naturally, I'm going to give you an inside look at the real world behind the making of a great quilting magazine. For those of you who may be coming here today from other blogs, I am the Creative Director of GenQ Magazine and I am responsible for all the design and layout. I also write a humor column. I am supposed to be writing one right now, but all I can think to write about is what it's like to agree to be a stop on a blog tour but be so frazzled with trying to get a second issue in before deadline that all you can think to write about is being frazzled with trying to get a second issue in before deadline. Killer satire, that's my stock-in-trade.

You know, people ask me all the time, "What's it like being the creative director of a quilting and sewing lifestyle magazine?" And I tell them all the same thing: GLAM. O. ROUS.

Check it:

This is pretty much how I look all the time now, what with the fans stalking my every move.

Designing the first issue of GenQ was pretty much several weeks of intense clicking. If any of you have ever done hours and hours of computer graphics, you will know what I am talking about. Your spine becomes permanently hunched, your eyes constantly bloodshot. From carpal tunnel, I can no longer actually feel my right index finger, but the middle finger makes up for it by now constantly throbbing with arthritis. And we're not even going to talk about what has happened to my butt, because we may have guests here today.

So, no. While my life is pretty much all champagne and men sending me photos of themselves shirtless, the process of creating the magazine was all like this:

And this:

And a whole lotta this:

But it was all totally worth it. Cause I made it look like this:

And this:

And this:

We are not just a project magazine, though we do have plenty of great project patterns. We have articles about all kinds of things, from a shop that specializes in recycled fabrics and other sewing items to a piece on Pinterest to a wonderful profile of Amy and David Butler that everyone has been raving about.  There's a list of 25 great online fabric shops with a detailed description of just what makes each one so great. Our Trendology feature is a place where we'll focus on some particular aspect of our stitchy world and give you resources and tips and projects for it. Our first Trendology was about linen, and I think it's one of my favorite sections of the whole magazine.

You know, I say it all the time, but I never imagined when I started teaching myself to quilt back in 2008, that I would end up just a few years later designing—not quilts—but an entire quilting magazine, one that I am intensely proud of. I work with amazing people: Jake Finch, Melissa Thompson Maher, and Scott Hansen and I can truthfully say that we are building a product and a business that promises to be truly unique in this industry.

So would you like one? I am giving away three copies to three oh-so-lucky readers. Just leave a comment, and when I am able to pry my arthritic claws off the mouse, I will choose three random people then Jake and her Mail Goddess will send them each a copy. Giveways are the best when I don't have to do the actual mailing!

There's only one more stop on the tour tomorrow and that's the FabTalk blog. Then on the 11th, we'll be celebrating our first anniversary over on the GenQ blog. We'll be reminiscing about the past year and talking about how far we've come. I'm pretty sure there will be references to my arthritis and my ever-widening butt, so you really don't want to miss it!

UPDATE: Generation Q Magazine is not yet available in book stores. It can be found at a number of local quilt shops and online shops (go here to see a list) or, if all those are sold out or not in your area, you can go directly to our website here and purchase. Subscriptions will be available later, but we are not sure when. The Fall 2012 issue, which we are desperately trying to get done now, should be available in more retail stores (and we'll tell you which ones closer to the release date).

Done

The sale is over. If you bought over the weekend, or if I've been holding anything for you, your stuff will go out today. Unless you are Canadian and then your stuff will go out tomorrow because I have to fill out customs forms and actually haul my carcass out to the post office.

Thanks, everyone, for playing along and helping to pad my meager bank account this summer.

Fabric sale, Part 4

It's half-yard bundle day!  I've got Blackbird Designs, Sweetwater, Jane Sassaman, and Laurel Burch! As usual, international buyers will get billed for the balance of their shipping charge. And you have to tell me to hold your order if you want me to combine shipping.

Pinkies Up Bundle

You know what I'm talking about. If you want to be FANCY, put your pinky up. And this shit right here is FAN. CEE. This is what Camilla Parker Bowles Manstealer Windsor the Eighth uses to wipe up Corgi pee when mummy-in-law comes to visit. So, what British royalty considers to be the equivalent of cut-rate paper towels is actually fancy-schmancy rich people stuff over here in the U. S. of A. So, be fancy. And schmancy. And put your damn pinky up—you look like a commoner.

6 half-yards. The flower prints all seem to be Coventry by Hoffman and the green pebbles and the stripe are P&B or Timeless Treasures or something like that. Fancy, though.

Pinkies Up Half Yard Bundle: $20.00 + $9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

Lake Trout Sandwich Bundle

These are all (or mostly, anyway) from the Baltimore Beauties collection by P&B Textiles. Did you know that up in Baltimore, if you see a place that sells Lake Trout Sandwiches, it's not really lake trout? It's Atlantic whiting or something, but it's a Baltimore thing to call it lake trout. They just fry it up in cornmeal and slap it on some white bread with hot sauce and wrap it in foil. ITS AWESOME. So if I ever make a Baltimore album quilt, it's not gonna have birdies and hearts on it. It'll be all John Waters and Lake Trout and Omar Little. I love me some Charm City. 6 half-yard cuts.

Lake Trout Half Yard Bundle: $20.00 + $9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

Chintz But Not Chintzy Bundle

Are these chintz? How do you identify chintz anyway? Is it like obscenity— the Supreme Court knows it when it sees it? Do you think we could get Scalia to make a ruling on whether this is chintz? What would a constitutional originalist's opinion on a bunch of Marcus Brothers and Moda Fabrics be? I guess as long as the corporations get lots of tax breaks, he'd be cool with it. 5 half-yard cuts.

Chintz But Not Chintzy Half-Yard Bundle: $14.00 + $9.00 shipping

I Don't Even Know; It's Just Pretty Bundle

This is another one of those bundles that is really, really lovely, but I'll just never use them. Those two grey-ish blue ones in the top left and middle. LOVE THEM. In theory. But they're all sweet and pretty and I am hardly sweet and pretty. But you are. No, you are! I'm not just saying that. I would kill to have your hair. You should have these. They go with your hair.

 7 half-yard cuts from Sweet Romance by Blackbird Designs for Moda.

It's Just Pretty Half Yard Bundle: $24 + $9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

Authentic by Moda Half-Yard Bundle

I made a Kindle cover out of these. After that, what else could possibly be as satisfying? Except Joe Manganiello. You know why I'm all hung up on him? That damn Magic Mike movie and the new season of True Blood. And SOMEBODY stole my copy of Entertainment Weekly with the Magic Mike cover and so how am I supposed to get anything done until I know where it is?

Anyway. Authentic. I'm still keeping some for me, but I want you to have some. 6 half-yard cuts.

Authentic by Sweetwater for Moda Bundle: $25.00 + 9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

This Is How Much I Love You Bundle

Because I love you so much, and because I need money, I am cutting into my beloved Jane Sassaman stash. See that one on the bottom in the middle? That's Teasels and Lace from Prairie Gothic. Do you know how much I love that fabric? This much:

And this much:

That's hanging in my sewing room. I have, like, 6 yards of it at least. And if I find more, I'll buy it. But I'll let you have a half-yard of it, because, as I said, I love you.

6 half-yard cuts of Prairie Gothic with one Sunshine and Shadow (Purse, couch, and Ikea frame not included).

This Is How Much I Love You Bundle: $18.00 + $9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

Priceless Treasure Bundle

Yeah, that's right. Fantastic Felines by Laurel Burch. Do you know how much this goes for on eBay? A LOT. And do you know how much of it I have? A LOT. But I only cut into what I have multiple yards of. And I'm only selling one half-yard bundle.  Because I'm going to hoard the rest like a crazy cat lady, even though I don't actually like cats very much. I'm more of a dog person. But you know who does like cats? My mother-in-law. Someday, the MIL will have a cat quilt. A very valuable cat quilt. And I bet I'll still be able to sell the scraps for twenty bucks an inch. 6 half-yards. (And, yes, that's a lot of money for 6 half yards. It's rare. I've seen it on eBay for $10 and more for a fat quarter. I'll also throw in a copy of Generation Q Magazine and a picture of Joe Manganiello that I printed off the internet! Never say that I don't take care of my people.) Plus, I'll give you this:

Priceless Treasure Bundle: $40.00 + 9.00 shipping

SOLD!!!!

Delaying sale

Okay.

We need to have a little chat, y'all.

I am one of those stupid, sick individuals who wants to make everybody happy. Even when it's impossible. Even when I don't actually know the people in question. I seriously considered just selling these things on eBay because I've done it before and I know how it works, but I wanted you all to have the chance to see them and get them first.

I'm really pleased that everything so far has sold, but apparently many other people are not.

First, those of you who get the email subscription service: I do not send those out myself. That is a Feedburner service, and when you sign up for it over there in the sidebar, you get an email every time I put up a new post. HOWEVER, Feedburner does not see fit to send those emails at the exact same time that I make the post. I have tried tweaking the time, but there is always a significant delay, and I am afraid there seems to be nothing I can do. But you can! You can actually visit the website through your browser (here's the address: http://thebitchystitcher.blogspot.com). I have been trying to post the sales at noon, EST every day. I usually announce it on Facebook, but I will just declare here and now that noon is the time to look. 

Second, everybody else: I'm sorry that the time doesn't work for you or you can't use the internet at work or you live an a tree and eat beetles and can't read. I would fix all of those things if I could. But the best I can do is post when it works for me and try to let you know ahead of time.

And confidential to the person who was so freaked out that I am selling my entire stash: oh, honey. This is but a fraction. A tiny, tiny fraction. Remember when I got all that fabric from my mom? This barely scratches that surface. I am keeping a TON of her stuff, plus I still have plenty of my own. I have more fabric than any reasonable person could possibly use. And I will still hoard most of it like an insane bread wrapper collector. 

So, I'm going to delay this a couple days, just to give myself a breather and give everyone a chance to read this. The half-yards will go up at noon EST on Saturday, June 16. I'm including the pics so you can see what's coming. I cannot promise them to you ahead of time, so please don't ask. 

And I'll tell you what I tell my kids: I still love you, even when you drive me crazy.