Monday, September 14, 2009

Dear friends and family,

Welcome to my blog. You didn't know I had a blog, did you? Or, certainly not one that I've kept up for over a year, one which has chronicled my adventures in self-taught quilting, among other topics. That's because I kinda didn't want you to know about it.

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would try to write only to please myself. If other people, strangers, came along for the ride, that was fine, but I didn't want to end up censoring myself because there was a possibility my dad or a friend I had recently reconnected with on Facebook would discover that I have a potty mouth.

So, let's just lay it all out on the table here, so you can be fair warned, as they say.

1. I curse. A lot. I don't do it to shock anyone; I do it because that is a part of my personality, and has been for as long as I can remember. I think cursing is funny.

2. I make fun of myself. A lot. You will be tempted to come away from reading my self-deprecating remarks and think, "Poor Meg. Still so insecure after all these years." Well, no.

I make fun of myself because A) it's safer than making fun of someone else, and B) it helps me get past my perfectionism. Instead of throwing my sewing machine at the wall because I can't figure out how ease stitching is supposed to work, I come here and write about wanting to throw the machine at the wall, and run over it with the car, and scatter the pieces across the globe so that they can never be reassembled - and then I feel better, and I have a germ of an idea for a piece about a demon sewing machine that I could submit to crazy quilting magazines.

My self-esteem is quite intact, thank you, and there is no need to worry.

3. I don't just write about quilting. I mostly write about quilting, yes, but sometimes I complain about my kids or my health. But be assured that these are only momentary complaints. If you read that I want to strangle my toddler, I don't really want to strangle my toddler. If I write that I feel so sick I want to die, I don't really want to die. If you are unsure how to take my hyperbole, just ask. I assure you, I am very, very sane and stable. I know this because every insane and unstable person I ever meet wants to be my best friend.

4. I use all caps a lot. It isn't necessarily meant to represent shouting. Rather, imagine when someone is talking and they want to emphasize something, and their voice does indeed rise, but not to the point of yelling. Often, the jaw is a bit clenched. There may be heavy sarcasm involved. Mere italics would not do this justice. It may take some getting used to, particularly if you are accustomed to getting emails written by political nutjobs who are all into Glenn Beck and stuff and write all their bizarro conspiracy theories in all caps SO YOU WILL HEED AND FEAR THE COMING APOCALYPSE.

5. And last. I love you all very, very much. I will not feel insulted in any way if you decide to never, ever, EVER read this blog again. Not in the slightest. So, please. Feel free to make that decision. Now would be good. I totally support you.


Cathy said...

Very well said.

whitey said...

Not a big fan of the *F* word but for some reason when you say it it does make me laugh love your style do not change!

2ndAvenueStudio-Rachel said...

Wow that was sweet! I may need to copy bits and pieces when I need to encourage some one to "move along ... nothing to see here" over at my blog...
I'm a nut job can I be your BFF? I agree cursing IS funny.. only thing funnier is Japanese handrawn poop in comics and stationary. I love a smiling poop sticker! Fuckin' hilarious!

Vicki W said...

Damn, you're clever!

Meredith said...

Note to Megan's Family: She makes total strangers all around the country laugh out loud every time she posts!

Pokey said...

All I can say is, "I'm Okay, You're Okay". Hey We choose to read/share/blog with who we want to, right? : )

MadeByMeaghan said...

I wish it was socially acceptable to extend this beyond the blog world. Hi, nice to meet you, sometimes I may be in a pissy mood, I might say things that come out the wrong way, but please give me the benefit of the doubt - I'm a good person. That would have saved me some trouble over the years! I love your blog and I'm SO GLAD you're not going to censor it!