Article alert

Okay, right now I am up to my eyeballs in panic and despair because SOME PEOPLE decided to go ahead and participate in the GenQ Kickstarter campaign and we met our goal in NINE DAYS. And so now I have to make a magazine. It is not like I actually know how to do this. Yes, I once worked at a magazine and did layout and design there, but the template had already been set up, and it was very easy for me to just fart around and learn as I went. Then I had to go and open my big, fat mouth to my GenQ cohorts and go, "Oh, yeah, I'm kinda familiar with InDesign. I could probably work up a logo." And from there they went "FREE GRAPHIC ARTIST" and now I am designing an entire magazine even though I have protested and told everyone I not a professional and I'm pretty sure I will probably end up designing an erectile dysfunction medication brochure instead of a quilting magazine.

So, right now, most of my "free" time is spent trying to design and layout a magazine in time to get it printed before Spring Market. And still, I managed to produce a fairly sizable piece of writing for GenQ today, the real, unexpurgated story of my first quilt. It's not technically a humor piece, but, you know me, so there's a couple chuckles in it, I suppose. Go here if you want to read it.

So, to everyone who pledged money - thank you. I hope that when you receive your copy of the Generation Q Erectile Dysfunction Medication brochure, you feel that your pledge was worth it. I will try to check in here and on Facebook when I can, but please forgive me if my appearances are spotty. And as I told everyone on FB, I will make it up to you by telling you long and completely made-up stories about all the famous quilters I meet at Market.

In addition to designing the damn thing, I am also expected to write something for it. Naturally, my mind is a total blank. So, what do you think my first humor article in the first issue of GenQ should be about? I'm starting to worry that I've covered everything and there's nothing left to make fun of, but I know you're a resourceful group. What do you think I should write about? Other than wieners?

Ain't that a kick in the head?

Many of you who read this humble blog are aware of and read the other project in which I play a small part: Generation Q. For those who are unfamiliar, Generation Q, or GenQ as we like to call it around GenQ HQ, is an online magazine launched last summer by Jake Finch and Melissa Thompson Maher, the fine ladies who thought it was a good idea to publish whatever the hell I felt like writing every other month in Quilter's Home, where they were co-editors-in-chief. Of course, Quilter's Home bit it, most likely due to the fact that I wrote articles about the inevitable zombie apocalypse and once used the phrase "appliquéing penises all over Jesus."

You would have thought that when they decided to strike out on their own and create a new lifestyle magazine for contemporary and modern quilters that they would stay the hell away from me, but no. They asked me to come on board and I took on the role of Creative Director and Resident Humorist. We launched our website last July and I have written more ramblings for them every month since. But our goal has always been to get back into print. As Creative Director, I will be working on the actual design and layout of our first issue, an issue we hope to have printed by Quilt Market in Kansas City in May and on newsstands by July.

But the thing is, we are trying to do this without backing from a large, corporate entity. See, just about every quilt magazine out there is owned by some massive publishing conglom-co, which has its advantages money-wise, but can also result in tired, watered-down, same ol'-same ol' content. We want to do this independently, which will allow us to keep our voice and our vision. We won't be beholden to corporate overlords that don't understand the market, that don't get that there are quilters out there who want something fun and who just maybe like to read something thought-provoking or have a laugh while they get inspired by a cool pattern or fabric.

But, of course, none of us has any money. That's because none of us have jobs. What we do have is a shitload of talent, experience, and drive - and a passion to create something that reflects the newest waves in quilting.

To that end we have launched a Kickstarter campaign. If you are not familiar with Kickstarter, it is a web site where people with projects to fund can raise money. But it's an all-or-nothing proposition. You set a fundraising goal and set a deadline. If enough people pledge money to meet that goal before the deadline, you get the money. If you fall short, you don't. So, if you pledge, you will not be charged the amount of your pledge until and unless the goal is met. If not, you are never charged. And you are not expected to just donate money out of the goodness of your heart. You get something for your dollars - from a copy of the magazine, to a subscription, to an actual quilt made by one of us (probably not me, but you never know!).

So, if you can, please at least take a look at our Kickstarter page. There's even a video, and if you wait a couple minutes, there's a section with me in it, desperately trying not to look bloated and consumptive. When I showed my husband the video, and he got to the end of my part, he burst into applause and demanded the link so he could show "everybody I've ever met." You know a man loves you when he wants to show off his wife desperately trying not to look bloated and consumptive.

Obviously, I am shilling for dollars here. I know damn well that money is tight for all of us, but I hope that many of you will find even a $5 or $10 donation worth it. And I'll give you one final reason why helping to fund this publication is a good thing: I SAVE MY BEST SHIT FOR PRINT.