Monday, January 30, 2012

It also needs a name. Maybe the P.S.E.T.

I'm still dying. I won't bore you (much) with the details, but my chest sounds like someone is wadding up a Sun Chips bag every time I breathe and I constantly feel like I can't get quite enough air. Yeah, I've already been scolded by several people that I need to get that shit checked out, like, yesterday, so I will probably be spending today at the doc's, stripping down to my skivvies so she can place an ice cold stethoscope on my chest without undue hindrance from anything that would protect my modesty or keep me, you know, warm.

I discovered long ago that when I am ill or otherwise in pain, sewing is usually the only thing that I can tolerate doing for any length of time. This was not the case while my hand was inflamed or while I was going through the worst of the flu, but right now, even though I feel like a miserable sack of poo (as an old friend of mine used to say), I forget about it while I'm sewing. So I spent most of Saturday finishing up a project that I started several weeks ago and that had been on hold during my bout with la grippe.

Early last summer I started collecting Anna Maria Horner and Joel Dewberry fat quarters. I was aiming for a collection with a particular sort of boho look to it, and these fit what I wanted. I would have added more from other collections if I had found anything that seemed to fit, but by the time I had all of these, I thought I better stop before things got too out of hand.


I had seen several examples of Mock Cathedral Windows online and I had been eager to try it, and I had also been looking for a project that would employ my boho fat quarter collection. I wanted to go for a really super scrappy look, and see if I could make that sort of thing work.

I didn't really see any good way to test the layout ahead of time (translation: I was too lazy to try and come up with a way to test it out ahead of time) so I did what I usually do and just jumped in. I bought an Olfa rotary circle cutter and started whacking.


I cut two circles from each fabric and set aside one pile to be the tops and one pile to be the bottoms (or doms and subs, if I'm feeling kinky). That way, I figured each fabric would make one appearance as the middle of the circles and one as the "petals" (and also the squares on the back. Of course, it helps if you keep track of which pile is which and don't move them all over the sewing room because you get a big ol' bug up your butt to start organizing shit. But, whatever. The original principle was sound and that's all that matters. Execution, shmexecution.

I layered two fabric circles with a batting circle and sewed them together. Turned out that despite my handy, dandy circle cutter, I managed to cut everything all wonky. But wonky is cool, right? It's what all the kids are doing now. So I did what I always do and fudged it and figured it would all work out in the end. Or I'd give it to the kids.

So, then I had a nice pile of fabric frisbees:


Then came the fun of sewing them together. And it was fun. Really. That's not just the Dayquil talking.


The problems came when trying to sew down the petals, or flaps, or lips or whatever the hell you call them. Sometimes everything would go beautifully, and then the next one would bunch up and the quilt would seem to lurch under the needle and I'd end up with something all fucked up and wrinkly. But there was no way in hell I was ripping stitches out of this one. However it tuned out was the way it was gonna stay and if it looked like ass I would just pretend I bought it off some hippie out of the back of her VW van and then I'd make up some story about how I had to air it out for days to get the weed stink out of it and how it may not have worked because I still smell colors every time I get near it. So, you know, win-win either way.

I finished the whole thing Sunday morning and dragged it and my coughing carcass outside to photograph it for posterity.


I can't decide how I feel about it. I like it better now than I did while it was being a little bitch. And everything looks better hanging from my patented Front Porch Quilt Photography Apparatus.



Maybe it needs a cute kid.


David is all freaked out that the back just looks like this and not a reverse image of the front.:


It's also a very small quilt, like baby size, but I am no longer giving away baby quilts since no one seems to actually like them, so this may be a throw or a picnic mat or a Psychotropic Substance Enhancement Tool. Not that I would know anything about that. Anymore.

18 comments:

Meagan Buch said...

Very cool. I totally wouldn't have the patience for anything bigger than that, though!

Jake said...

I love it!! And the back works too! If I tell you I'm pregnant and like it, can I have it? I'm not really, but it would be worth the lie...

Patrica Dowell said...

I made one of these in which I fussy cut a cute motif for the center of each circle (nut job I know). I gave it to a so called friend as a baby gift and when I later visited her she had given it to her dog for a dog bed!  A comment on the fabulousness of my craftsmanship no doubt. Your quilt is truly fabulous and will avoid a similar fate I trust.

wait_for_daylight said...

I LOVE this! Off to the sewing room to try it! and I agree about the baby quilt thing :/

Jenna Gustafson said...

Ooooomigoodness! Next project. Done. Or maybe the project after that... Maybe I need more fabric first. Hmm, totally need more fabric first. Saving this post!!!!

ps. i'm sorry you feel like ass. that's shitty....
;)

Lucy said...

Gorgeous work! I had a friend who called that feeling "week old bag of smashed-up assholes". I've always enjoyed saying it...

bitchystitcher said...

There isn't one, exactly. Look up "mock cathedral windows" and you should find some tutorials that show how to do it.

Jen Mercer said...

I love it! Where can I find the pattern for this?

Natalie Bartgis said...

love it!

Katekwiltz said...

Very cool! Love the boho look!
I can't get that circle cutter to work for shit.
And who collects poo in a bag? I don't ever want to meet them.

renata said...

this looks quite amazing, a bit like an alice in wonderland substance enhancement !

Becky said...

I love it, I think it's an amazing quilt!! I hope you start feeling better soon.

Kristastitched said...

"anymore." ha. I like the fabric and the look of it... Not sure I'd ever bother doing it though. I guess I'd have to look up the traditional way of making cathedral windows before deciding this looks like too much work. Interesting that you say people don't tend to like baby quilts... I've made my sister a couple and they don't seem to get used at all. She goes for those soft minky (my iPad autocorrected that to "kinky") fleecy things instead. I like to think its because she's afraid of ruining my beautiful handiwork, but that's probably bullshit.

Samala Ray said...

Wow.  I did this in a queen size with green gold and blue for a wedding quilt a few years back.  Fun!  The hippie chick in the VW made me **laugh**!  :-)

Cindy said...

Please take care of yourself. I've had pneumonia a couple of times, spent over a month in bed each time..., coughing, sleeping, missing out on life, broke a rib coughing. NOT fun. You don't want to go there.

Love your quilt. It will be very comforting while you hide under it convelessing.

Sandy Navas said...

I was going to tell you that I thought you were on to something, but actually, I think you are ON something.  BTW I love your quilt.  I, for one, can't sew when I feel like crap.  Needless to say, I don't get enough sewing done!

Mscallie53 said...

Cool Beans..

Ruby Murray said...

Lmao yay a quilter that isn't stuffy. Love the quilt and your post funny as....