Monday, August 1, 2011

Please ignore the funny man on my other website

Whatever you do, do not go over to Generation Q today and read the guest post by Josh Cacopardo. The boy cracks me up, and I'm a humor snob. People are always sending me links to stuff and saying, "OMG thi sis SO FUNNY I know youll love it LOLOLOLOLOLOL" and in my head I'm composing doctoral thesis-length essays on why it's not funny at all. So, when I tell you I think somebody is funny and an excellent writer I mean it, so obviously I cannot let you go read his column, because then you'd all abandon me in droves. I'm pretty sure Josh doesn't ever link to penis pictures though he does apparently drink a hell of a lot more than I do, so who knows what could happen after a few highballs. The man could be a penis-linking machine and we'd all be taken completely by surprise. Oh, and - he's an infant. Like, 29. Way too young to be writing this well. Maybe his mom is doing it for him. So, like I said, don't go over there and comment or anything like that. We don't want to encourage the boy.

Okay, fine. Go. He's awesome. You'll love him.

Meanwhile, our calendar is moving right along. I have received four sets of photos and hoo boy are they good. I am so tempted to describe them, but I really want the whole thing to be a surprise when it's done, so no sneak peeks for you. And the gentleman who runs the Quilt Guy online group sent the call for models out to his mailing list and now I've got a few bachelor fellows eager to strip down for the camera. So, just to reiterate: the Quilter's Shirtless Man and Spicy Burrito calendar does not discriminate based on age, physique, marital status or sexual orientation. We do however discriminate against all other forms of south-of-the-border-food. So, no sissy tostadas, hombres.

In actual sewing news—I don't think I ever shared this, except on Facebook. I have mastered curved piecing. You may freely hate me now:


I loved the fabrics before I put them together in this configuration. Now I think they look stupid. BUT my curved seams are all damn near perfect and so I planned to hang that sucker on the wall just so I could look at it and gloat. I went to JoAnn for batting last weekend, and like the chump I am bought some cheap-ass package of fusible polyester batting. This stuff was supposedly fusible on both sides, unlike the Pellon fusible fleece I usually get, and I thought that would be right handy and it would have been if the stuff wasn't about as fusible as an old Band-Aid. But I got some of it to stick and then I headed for the sewing machine to stipple the living crap out of it (I don't do "free motion quilting." I stipple the living crap out of things.) It was a disaster. I don't know if it's the fleece or my needle or the simple fact that everything that can go wrong in one person's life has done so in mine over the last week, but I finally gave up and am now in the process of ripping out all the stitches. I don't know what I'll do with the damn thing now. Other than curse it for all eternity, I mean.


1 comment:

Ann Marie said...

Everything went wrong because it was a new moon, give it a few days and give it another try.