Monday, December 6, 2010

Or should I say, "TOE-rture"? No, probably not.

Um, have you noticed that Christmas is looming? Every year I have panic attacks starting December 1, because every year I find myself in a situation where there will be no Christmas unless certain parties who owe me money cough it up in a timely fashion. This situation was aggravated four years ago, when my chosen method of birth control failed around tax time and our second daughter was born 6 days before Christmas. Even though we had David neutered a couple years ago, I still won't let him near me in April. Or May, just to be safe.

So, once again, I am biting my nails and hoping for the best.

In between working on the next articles, I have been staring at the dresden plate table runner and wondering how the hell to quilt it. I have done nothing beyond stippling yet, and I really wanted something different, so I went back to my Virtual Quilting Mentor, Leah Day, and let her words of wisdom convince me to try a paisley design in the area surrounding the dresden plates.

Here is what I did, on a practice panel:

Not great. But not so bad that I'd have to wad it up and use it to scrub toilets. So I was all ready to start in on the real thing when WHAM. I smashed my right foot against the leg of a chaise in our (to quote Git Down Kitty) "fo-yay."

This was not an unusual occurrence. I smash my toes on furniture legs all the time, and so when I hobbled into the kitchen and announced what I had just done, pretty much everyone just rolled their eyes and went, "Again?" But I knew something was different about this time because usually I'm in blinding pain for about a minute and I say lots of bad words and then it goes away. This time it was oddly numb, but I still felt panicky and I wanted to say lots of bad words, but I didn't need to. Harper helpfully reminded me, after noting my unprecedented restraint, that I could say the word Ramona came up with in "Ramona and Beezus": guts. So I sat in the kitchen with ice on my foot shouting, "GUTS, GUTS, GUTS!"

Then the pain set in. And the swelling. And the colors! Such pretty colors. 

I suppose I could have gone to a clinic or the emergency room, but since the toe wasn't pointing in an unnatural direction and the pain wasn't more than I could bear (as long as I didn't actually, you know, move it or walk on it), I elected to just buddy tape it and stay off of it for a day or two. This of course meant that I got to read all day yesterday, and that meant I plowed through the last book in the Outlander series in record time. And of course she leaves you with the most tantalizing cliff-hangers in this one, when I have to wait for her to FINISH WRITING BOOK EIGHT. I suppose I should be glad I have something to look forward to, but WHAT IS JAMIE GOING TO DO TO LORD JOHN? Or Claire, for that matter? And God only knows what will happen to Roger. He'll probably end up blinded and castrated. 

Or forced to wait years for book eight, because that, my friends, is torture.


Lisa said...

WootWoot!!! Thanks for the shout out! I get so excited over that. :0)

I HAVE to get my hands on those books... but not until after Christmas. Too much to do!

Broken toes suck. I've only ever had one regular one but Hubby spectacularly broke his carrying our newborn son down the stairs. He slipped and, while he saved the baby, he toe-tally mangled his big toe.

It is still really crooked and the baby is almost 5. I think at this point it's staying that way. We should cut big gashes in his shoes like impoverished old people do for their bunions.

(I TOLD him that carpet should come up because it was slippery. Shoulda listened to me. Now said newborn is 5 and "sleds" down it. I foresee more broken toes- at the very least- in our future.)

Staci said...

Oh! I am so sorry! Broken toes are no fun! I've smashed several because furniture hops out and stomps my poor toes! Unless you've got a bone coming through the skin, all they would do at the hospital is take an x-ray, say, "Oh it is broken" and buddy tape it, and give you the following words of wisdom: Ice, pain reliever and try to stay off it, and if you still want to say, "Guts! Guts! Guts!" after a few weeks, go back in. It is a good excuse to read, sew, catch up on TV and skip wearing shoes.
Seriously, though, I hope it feels better soon. Rotten time of year to have an injury.

sandynavas said...

I am so excited to have found your blog. I love your antics. Here's to a healed toe . . . quickly, please.

LizA. said...

Oooh, I feel your pain. I'm ALWAYS doing that to my toes. Even more so this year since, after 20 years of marriage, we bought a new bed and frame. Instead of having legs, set back from the corners, we now have solid cherry frame legs. Add to that, we also rearranged the bedroom for the first time in 20 years. Need I say anymore?

BTW, your paisley quilting is most awesome. Keep at it, you'll be a machine quilter before you know it.

Peggi said...

I think your quilting is awesome! I'm sending you my stack of unquilted tops. Get through them before Christmas and you won't have to worry about what OTHER people owe you. Ha.

Sorry about your toe. Which one was it? I broke my pinkie toe and was going to tell you exactly what Staci said. It happened in junior high, and I was supposed to keep my foot elevated. Har har - try telling that to Miss Pitts, my English teacher, who insisted I put both feet on the ground. She didn't believe that my toe was broken because I wasn't wearing a cast. We went several rounds and I think she finally gave up when I kept my foot firmly planted on the seat in front of me and dared her to call my mother.

Sarah Craig said...

Ooh, I love your paisleys! And I am so sorry about your toe..... but here's something to make you laugh and take your mind off it. Our granddaughter has started repeating what we say, so even words like C**P have had to leave our vocabularies (because it sounds so-o-o-o nasty coming out of a 3-year old's mouth!) The other day, hubby forgot and said it in front of her - she pops up and says, "Poppa, you can't say that!" He promptly said, "OK, I'll say snickerdoodle from now on!" To which she replied, "You can't say that, either - say Itsy Bitsy Spider instead!" So yesterday, while he was watching the Titans get slaughtered on TV, I kept overhearing him saying, "Cr---- oh, Itsy Bitsy Spider!"

Laughing yet??

Joy said...

I love your quilting ..... and I hope your toe is better soon!!
Is it your sewing foot???
Joy :o)

Teresa said...

Loved your post. I'm starting to wonder if we're genetically related. I too love Leah Day and her innovative designs.
I too, don't go to the doctor unless the pain doesn't go away for a while. I sprained my ankle badly in September, but waited 3 days to go to the doctor because it was "just a sprain." He was surprised the x-ray proved no fracture. Now, it's December and it's still not "better."
Getting old(er) sucks.

Sandi said...

So sorry to hear about your pain!

Do you know that Diana Gabaldon occasionally posts new excerpts on her website? Not a whole new book, but the little glimpses help with the wait until the next book.

Sara said...

Piling on: I hope your toe heals gracefully. Mine broke two weeks before I took a vacation in Finland last summer. The vacation was still delightful, I just walked more slowly and stopped more frequently to smell the flowers. I like the look of your paisleys. I don't quilt at all, though I'm considering working with the older child on a simple project (eyeglasses case, maybe?). I knit. I won't show any photos, in case the Christmas present recipients see the pics on FB.

QuiltSwissy said...

I had my boobs whacked off on Thursday so I understand your pain. I wear shoes so my toes are fine. In fact they are the only thing that doesn't hurt right now.

Love your paisley quilting. It looks really good with the dresdans.

glen: who just says the F word.....

Anonymous said...

Deborah says:

Your quilting is excellent. My stippling looks like the path a drunk, near-sighted, confused bumble bee would take back to the hive.

I would not attempt an actual free form pattern (at least not one that was actually supposed to be recognizable as such)!


KateKwiltz said...

Ow! That's pretty much all you can do for broken toes -- tape them to a buddy and hope for the best. Oh, and don't try to put on work boots. I did that with the last one and couldn't get my foot out for about three hours.
Happy reading!