Sunday, March 28, 2010

I am TOO a good blogger...

...Jake and Melissa said so.

Now before I tell you what that means, let me address the many comments and emails I have received taking me to task for not identifying each and every quilt pattern represented in the photographs of my sister's quilts that I posted a couple days ago. Apparently, a GOOD BLOGGER would have told you the name of the pattern, the designer, the names of every fabric used therein, the type of batting, what brand of sewing machine was used to make it, and what specific expletives my sister used any time she made a mistake and had to rip out seams and start over ("thunderchoad", "assbucket", and "dirty whore douche licker").

Whenever anyone has asked me for the name of a specific pattern, I have done the following three things:

1. Clicked on the picture to see it full size.

2. Read the name (if available in that picture).

3. Googled it.

And TA DA! The name of the quilt pattern, the designer, and dozens of places to purchase it!

But what really got me giggling over all this were the emails I received that said I really should have given you the contact information about the quilt shop itself (where my sister works). I DID! It's called a link, you silly gooses! Go back to the last post and look at the sentence where I told you my sister works in a quilt shop. See how the words "quilt shop" are a different color? Try clicking on those two words. Go ahead! It won't break the internet!

Whoops! Did you get scared? I'm still here. That was the website for The Quilter's Attic, the shop where my sister works. I am sorry that they do not have online ordering available, but they do have a phone! But don't leave a message - I can't guarantee that anyone knows how to access it. Oh, hey, y'all should get along real good then!

Awww, c'mon, baby. You know I love you.

In other news, the April May issue of Quilter's Home magazine has finally hit the newsstands and to everyone who has come here to this blog today as a result of that issue, I sincerely apologize for using the profanity you read in the earlier paragraph. That was not like me at all, and if you read through my archives, you will discover that I am really a mild-mannered wisp of a girl, dedicated to bringing only love and joy to my 7 or 8 regular readers.

Seriously. I'm a bucket of fucking sunshine. Ask anyone.

I am very excited about this issue because it has my longest (and, I think, best) article to date, called "A Brief History of Quilting." And just to whet your appetite, I will tell you that the opening page of this piece prominently features a large photograph of a yak!

The other article I am excited about was not written by me, but is a compendium of 55 awesome quilting blogs - mine included. Now I love quilt blogs, and craft blogs, and I know I would never have gotten to where I am as a quilter (marginally competent) without the online resources provided by bloggers. The blogging community is huge, but at the same time, one can find friends there so easily just by putting words and work online for everyone to see. I have said many, many times that blogging changed my life, and I would bet that is true for a lot of the bloggers in this article. If you need some inspiration for your quilts, your crafts, or your blog, do check out this list. And then go write the editors (the aforementioned Jake and Melissa) and tell them I'm a bucket of fucking sunshine.

20 comments:

Brenda said...

I love your blog and I must say I was sooo surprised when MY small blog was mentioned - so thanks for telling everyone to look at the mag!

jrebekah said...

"dirty whore douche licker"- You are hilarious! And a damn good blogger, to boot.

Wendy_MT said...

Thank you, as usual, for the awesome humor of your blog. I think I must be one of your "7 or 8 regulars," but if not, please add me to your list. Love your blog, and love your article in the current issue of Quilter's Home (of which I would not have renewed without your comments made a month or so ago on Facebook and/or this blog.) Keep Rockin Bitchy one!

Heather R. said...

wonderful!
I can relate. I post ads for training offered by my company where the full description of various classes, plus time, date and cost are listed. It also includes a mailto link for who to contact.
You know how many people email me to sign up, to ask when it is and how much it costs? of course I can't reply to them as well as you have ;-)

mpdchat said...

Of course you can't break the internet by clicking on hyperlinks! This is how it happens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrQUWUfmR_I

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Linda

Jacque. said...

ohhhh, Megan. Of course you are a good blogger! I have you on my reader and love to come see what you have to share...and what expletives you use. {grin} You're the most honest blogger I know!

soggybottomflats said...

Wtf? Asking about the quilt names, blah, blah, blah! That is too funny.

It must be the voice over in the commercial for ladies monthly supplies that cheerily sings...have a happy period!

Omg, I just snotted all over my keyboard!

Cathy said...

Megan, Right after I emailed you I did click on the picture and there is was. I had been searching for the name of that quilt for a year and there it was. After googling I found the designer of that quilt was right here in Minneapolis and I was at her quilt store Saturday morning.

I guess I just wanted to email a famous fucking blog of sunshine.

Quilting Diva said...

I have a quilt to enter in our little quilt show. It will be named "what the Hell was I thinking?" and I'm sure I will catch all kinds of flack for using the *H-bomb. Geez louise. I will need to post a link to your blog in my next letter to our Newsletter editor, who has not been able to get my fucking phone number right in my ad for the last 2 years.

Andrea R said...

Ahhhh, this is why I like you. :D

Quilting Queen said...

You are a wit...not a twit...a wit.need I say more. AND you are a great blogger, don't let anyone tell you differently. 'cuz I am here to defend you, sunshine.

Patty said...

I always look for your fucking bit of sunshine to brighten up my day. Now tho, my days are pretty crappy, but every little bit of your sunshine helps.

Sarcastic Quilter said...

well, I don't live too far from the shop you linked to and after seeing it, I had promptly decided one weekend I was going to stop in and say "the Bitchy Stitcher" sent me to see her sister! Then introduce myself as the Sarcastic Quilter and ask to see some fab fabric which would speak to me. :D

Andrea R said...

Well darn it, this pic:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gF6spov-2dk/S6tvy6jV8OI/AAAAAAAABGo/d8rZlTfNGcU/s1600/IMG_4821.JPG

Doesn't have a label for me to Google. :(

Sequana said...

You see, as a new reader, this is why I know we're gonna get along fine.

Everyone kept asking about that quilt with the little pigs on it - I copied the pic, zoomed up the size and could *almost read* the title. (Something about Pickled Pigs)

So I searched a few times with various words, and up it popped...Pickled Pigs Fleet. *S*.......I even added it to your comments in case people were still looking.

Took me all of.....say 10mins.

Jake Finch said...

Surprise! Of course you'd be on the list. It's how we knew you could write. When I grow up, I want to be funny like you. And yes, you ALL have to read Megan's column. It absolutely is hilarious. It made me a PIMP. (Peeing in my pants.)

Carrie (was TX, now VA) said...

HEY! You made the front cover of the mag...OK, I'll buy this issue! :)
Congrats, Megan! We are ALL proud of you! Now, you won't forget us little people when you are all big shot famous, jumping on couches with Tom Cruise (OK, that was a pretty dated bat-shit crazy famous person reference, but it is still my favorite!)
:)

Anonymous said...

Ok! My second comment to your blog in one night! (My first visit to your blog ever!)

I have some spare yak poop if you should run out....

My name is Deborah (long o, second syllable gets the accent - it's the original unbastardized pronunciation.) I'm introducing myself here because I can't stand having to make a new frickin' identity every time I want to check out a new blog (not your fault), but just wanted you to know who was writing.

I'll read more of your blogs and will sign my name in the blog....because I'm just like that.

Cheryl said...

hi -- the blog list in QH brought me here - and I'm so glad!
Only complaint i have about the list is that since it's on PAPER (gasp!) and therefore not hyperlinked, it's such a pain to type out whole long urls!
I was hoping maybe the website would have the article with hyperlinks - but alas, the web site has the LAST issue listed as the CURRENT issue - so I'm just doing the hard work of type type typing in the urls for the whole list!
BUT I do like your blog! (it was worth all that typing ;-)

Megan said...

Yeah, I know about the website situation at QH, and I can tell you that they are working on the problem. The editors are doing a great job with almost no staff, so cut them some slack and keep supporting the mag so that maybe they'll be able to hire someone to help 'em out (ahem, ahem)