OMIGOD!!!! I am so happy I read these tonight, when I have the flu and feel like excrement. You made me laugh, and I didn't think that was possible this week. I've sent them to my other editors, Mark included. If they don't laugh, they've got to be dead inside. Thank you for making my night and I'm sorry it took a few weeks to read these. You are a very gifted writer and I'll let you know what the others say. BTW, were you sitting in my guild meeting/shopping cart/sewing room when you wrote these?