Totally forgot to mention that the aforementioned Quilting Weekend is not happening until the beginning of May, so you'll just have to wait to find out the secret of perfect triangles. I've been thinking about it, though, and I'm guessing it involves one of the following:
1. Sacrificing a chicken.
2. Cutting a pentagram out of fabric and then cutting that into triangles.
3. Going through a series of "audits" after which I am declared to be "clear" and the secret is revealed in a private ceremony by Tom Cruise, who tells me that Xenu died for my sins and I've lost that lovin' feelin'.
4. Putting my desire to sew perfect triangles out into the universe, where Oprah can receive it on her celestial plane and grant it to me on a very special episode.
5. Lots and lots of ab crunches.
I'll be sure to let you know!