Then there was Harper's day camp, which I should have known was too much of a bargain for the price, but it is run by the county, and Devon's daycare provider's kids have all worked for these camps all through high school and had great things to say about it. But from the time I registered, I have been unhappy with how little information I have received about what to do, what to expect, even where to go. Harper's camp was held at a local high school, and I had to walk all over the campus before finding the right entrance. I was given a couple pieces of paper with some vague info, but other wise there was no discussion of policies, procedures, or even a schedule of what my kid would be doing with her day. The second day we arrived to find that only one of the camp counselors was there, plus two other parents dropping off their kids. I knew my watch was a bit fast and that we were maybe 5 minutes early, but the counselor seemed fine with it and so did the other parents, so I kissed her goodbye. About 10 minutes later I get a call from the camp director, who is yelling at me because that counselor? With whom I left my child? WASN'T A COUNSELOR FOR THIS CAMP. He was there to pick up a child to take to a special needs camp at another location. I do completely understand that I should not have been there so early, but her attitude was not that, hey, we make mistakes, and this turned out okay, but I'll do you a favor and make things more clear so that next time you know who it's okay to leave your kids with. Her attitude was more, ARE YOU STUPID? But, I held my tongue and assured her it would not happen again.
The next few days were uneventful, but it was clear to me that all her talk of IT'S FOR YOUR CHILD'S SAFETY was truly just talk. The place was chaotic, and though I had been told that IDs would be checked frequently at pickup time, they never were. One day, Harper was released to me by another child.
Then on Friday, I put $5 in a pocket in Harper's lunchbox because they would have a Sno-Cone truck there that day. I knew five bucks was probably way too much, but when I pay four dollars for a loaf of bread, I figure anything is possible. So as we are leaving that day, Harper tells me that her sno-cone only cost a dollar, but that one of the counselors still had the rest of her money. So I said let's go back and see about it and when I asked her to point out the counselor, it turned out to be the camp director. So I approached her and said, Hi! Harper tells me you still have her change from the sno-cones today! And she glares at me and starts in on how there was all this confusion and she didn't think I was going to be there yet and if I will just give her a minute she will find Harper's dollar. I said, Actually, Harper had five dollars this morning. And that woman rolled her eyes, and said, in pretty much the most contemptuous tone I've ever heard, "Oh she most certainly did not."
At that point, I knew I was about to let loose with some truly choice words for her, but we were around a lot of small children, and I didn't trust myself to keep the cursing light. So I figured I would deal with camp director later and Harper and I would get on the road to pick up her sister. As we were leaving, she hollered after me, "You're supposed to put it in a plastic bag anyway, you know."
This was what put the whole thing over the edge, because she said it in a way that implied I was just ignoring the rules and she was now having to deal with my inability to follow clearly stated guidelines. EXCEPT THERE WERE NONE. Nowhere does anything say, If your child brings money to camp, have it in a baggie. Because nowhere does anything say anything about what we are supposed to do.
The money thing was inconsequential, but the attitude of the director, the chaos of the camp, the lack of schedules and policies, made me ultimately decide to pull her from the camp altogether. So now she is home with me, asking how many Skittles she can have every five minutes. If I don't end up having to pull Devon from daycare for lack of transportation, then she and I will, I hope, work on making a quilt together. I may even get out the little Kenmore beginner sewing machine that I bought when I started sewing 2 years ago and let her start sewing herself. I haven't brought this up with her yet, though, and I'm assuming she's still interested, but for all I know she'd rather just dig for worms.
Last week I also worked on a humor piece that I ultimately submitted to Smithsonian magazine for their humor page. I wrote about Harper's desperate desire for a pet tarantula. I finished and submitted it and also finished my next column for Quilter's Home. AND, in between all that - usually when the kids had commandeered the computer - I went back to working on Labyrinth 2: Electric Boogaloo. This was where we left it some months ago:
From The Bitchy Stitcher |
And here's what I've added to it:
I'm still not crazy about the pattern, but I have the fabric cut, so I may as well keep going.
So at least I've been somewhat productive up until now, because that may all come to a screeching halt for several weeks.
Thanks for listening to me rant. If I had the freedom to tell you everything, it would have been even longer and crazier. I am now going to eat some Skittles and watch High School Musical 3 with my short friend here:
I call her Snaggletooth Tutuhead.
hang on while I change my undies.. laughing too hard!!
ReplyDeleteI would have pulled her out also...but I would have also gone to the next county board meeting and complained...
Where so you want us to send the tequila if you have to be digging worms with the two kids all summer? I'll send lemonaid for the two cuties.
ReplyDeleteShe's adorable, Your a great mom. A line from a country song " God is great, beer is good and people are crazy". I like the quilt, It reminds me of something Celtic-y, I know thats not a word, but wth. I almost spit coffee all over the computer @ "My husband said this was ok" Can't wait to read your new stuff. huggs
ReplyDeleteUgghh! Megan, I don't envy you for a minute, except that these crazy times now will make for the best memories later - I love war stories! Thank goodness you are able to be at home for your kids and not forced to leave them in that nutty daycare situation because that is all you can afford or the only one that fits your work schedule - I have been there and it is the lousiest feeling a mother can have. Enjoy the skittles and chase them with a shot of something stronger when dad gets home. Remember too, ranting is a good thing, especially for us out here laughing at the familiarity of it all. Love lots! Tina in AZ
ReplyDeleteSend the county a bill for the $4 the camp director pocketed, along with a copy of this blog so they can see what you went through! That ought to get their attention!! At least, once they quit laughing.... Seriously, you have a wonderful way to make trauma sound entertaining but I will applaud your restraint - I would not have been able to stop myself, I'm afraid!! Good luck with Miss Tutuhead!!
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome and the camp director clearly is not. I don't blame you for pulling your child out - I would have done the same thing AND I would follow thru and make sure the proper board members are aware of the unsafe/unorganized conditions with which this camp is being run. You Go Girl!!
ReplyDeleteyou should get a job running that camp and solve ALL your problems and theirs! LOL.
ReplyDeleteglen: my philosophy is, is you don't like it, run it yourself! That is why I ran a clinic Human Resources Dept for 6 years,two of the four local quilt guilds, and my daughter's life..........
If you have an AutoZone or and O'Reilly's near you, you can take the car in and ask them to pull the codes (car person lingo for "hook it up to your computer and have it interpret why my car's computer is doing this"). If the airbag light is coming on as a fluke (rather than an actual problem) they will be able to tell you and turn it off. And they might be able to give you a vague idea as to what is wrong with it. Or if it's safe (although loud) to drive.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe you could shoepolish on the back "Middle finger broken, listen for horn." You know, just for giggles.
"but I don't have enough of that stuff I'm not supposed to talk about not having because it's offensive to people who have even less of it than I do."
ReplyDeleteUm, are you talking about pot?
I know we aren't supposed to laugh, but, I'm laughing out loud. I love your stories and twists you put in them. Hang in there, summer is just beginning.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of that "stuff we aren't supposed to talk about either" Darn. I don't have someone to ask if it is okay when I post on my blog either.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness my car is working okay....or was on the way home from the dunge....errr Office.
Ignore the people who get offended when you talk about the stuff "you aren't supposed to talk about" because, honestly, if they don't like what you write, no one is forcing them to read it!
ReplyDeleteAs for your patience with this camp thing...I think you should be sainted, or something like that, for not letting loose at that camp director!
Oh, and I love the quilt. The pattern is funky and cool and the colors are great!
I hope you and snaggletooth tutuhead had a great time watching High School Musical 3
Rant away! Makes my life seem so mundane....
ReplyDeletep2w
ok bitchy, it's been awhile.
ReplyDelete1) where did you get the five bucks? lol.
2) What is the address of the counselor that you want me to mail the dog poop to?
3)I happened to notice that you like to sew blocks 6 at a time...6 beers in a 6-pack...coincidence?
4) Have a great day!
Monica
Deborah says:
ReplyDelete"...Stuff you're not supposed to talk about..." Fabulous!
But this is what really made me laugh...I know...I'm not quite right in the head.
"I may even get out the little Kenmore beginner sewing machine that I bought when I started sewing 2 years ago and let her start sewing herself."
Sewing herself? To what?
Here's a riddle that any five year old is supposed to know the answer to, but most adults don't.
Poor people have it.
Rich people want for it.
If you eat it you will die.
It is more evil than the devil.
It is greater than God.
What is it?
Love the quilt, but I think it's making me dizzy! No, wait, that might just be me.
Deborah says:
ReplyDeletePS - It may be harder in the short run, but in the long run you'll probably be glad you pulled Harper out of camp. Can't believe with all that's going on these days, that these places aren't more tightly regulated.
Oh! Love my security word...In Escro!
ROFL "but I don't have enough of that stuff I'm not supposed to talk about not having because it's offensive to people who have even less of it than I do" I wondered how you were going to handle that! too funny!
ReplyDeleteMegan, you have a LOT more restraint than I. I would have sent my kid to the car and made a nice, big, juicy scene. And yes, I WOULD have done it in front of the other kids, so they would all go home and tell THEIR moms what happened at day camp. Give the other moms something to think twice about.
I hope Deborah gives us all the answer to the riddle soon, it's driving me nuts. And my 9 year old was absolutely NO help!
The answer to the riddle is...nothing!
ReplyDelete(I've heard it before ;-)
Deborah says:
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Megan!
Sounds like a great week!
ReplyDeleteAlso sounds like you have a short somewhere in your electrical system (I'm talking about the car here, in case there's any confusion).
Keeping my fingers crossed for an inexpensive repair...
Megan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me laugh; some days you pull me back from the brink of going off like a crazy biotch on the "camp directors" in my life.
Laughter and Love the best medicine in the world.
have the kids dig for gold while you drink the tequila. Oh, and make sure you have a big beach umbrella for shade. Throw some plastic spiders in the hole and take pictures for the article sent to the Smithsonian. Oh, and throw in some of those fake gold coins. A picture for DH, who probably wishes he could find some! Have a good laugh over beans and weenies with him.
ReplyDelete